


not afraid of bruised knees

by newheros



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spider-Man Fusion, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Coming of Age, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Spider-Verse, spideyjeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-06-22 21:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15591546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newheros/pseuds/newheros
Summary: lee jeno finds out growing up is harder than he thought.alternatively: the one in which great powers come with great responsibility, saving the world and falling in love are equally complicated but donghyuck has always been there for jeno at the end of the day.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I DID IT, Y'ALL.
> 
> if you follow me on twitter, you may have noticed that i've been geeking out about this au for some time now. if you ended up here by accident, just know that this fic holds a very special place in my heart.
> 
> this work is dedicated to bel, for she is the ultimate jeno gf and the #1 spideyjeno supporter since day one. more than special thanks to nico, luma and tina for putting up with my habit of sending fic excerpts out of the blue. shoutout to basically every mutualie that joined me for this ride as well!!!! 
> 
> nevertheless, thanks to you, reader. i hope you find this fic as enjoyable as i did writing it. shall we?
> 
> (title is from bangtan's anpanman)
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/7kqXmLHQz6SK57WAe17XkN?si=LMC4Wzn0RsadwCJmI2DSHA)

“And then, because I'm not an idiot, I told him to shove his entire shoe right up his--”

“ _You didn’t,_ ” Jaemin deadpans, scandalized. “Hyuck, tell me you didn’t!”

“Of course I did, Nana. As I said, I'm not an idiot...”

A lonely drop of chocolate ice cream makes its way to the back of Jeno’s hand, gelid against his warm skin. He licks it alongside the laughter in his lips, gaze switching alternately from his friends to the road ahead, carefully avoiding the holes in the street.

You see, Fridays mean this: biking and skating their way back home, hands clammy from dripping ice cream cones, laughter echoing in the desert streets and the occasional middle-aged lady complaining about the noise, sending them angry looks at them before shutting her curtains. Fridays mean this: Chenle’s high pitched screams about who’s kissing who, a heavy weight on his shoulders because of the extra classes Jeno takes weekly on this day, a cell phone falling to the floor at least once in between all of their tomfoolery. “You’re absolutely nuts, Hyuck,”  is what Mark says, his cone long gone, the napkin crunched inside his closed fist as he keeps himself steady on the skateboard. “He's, like, twice of you,”

Jeno finds himself giggling in anticipation. Fridays also mean Donghyuck and his snarky remarks, so of course he replies “And my brain’s two of his!” before speeding in his skateboard, freshly dyed red hair a blur before their eyes.

“Five bucks Hyuck gets his ass kicked by the end of the month,” is what Jisung says, resting his chin on Chenle’s shoulder, eyes mischievous as always. He pats his pocket to emphasize the point, but nearly makes the bike topple over by doing so.

Renjun, pedaling lazily beside Jeno, groans loudly. “I thought you had promised Taeyong you would stop betting?”, to which Jisung replies with a shrug, but his eyes remain the same. Somewhere behind them, Jaemin laughs.

Fridays mean this: all seven of them, together as it has always been. Always a little older, a little smarter, sometimes louder, sometimes quieter. Jeno thinks Fridays like these, with the sun setting behind his back and ice cream stains drying on his shirt, are what it means to grow up.

“In the end, dad said I shouldn’t be dwelling on this kind of stuff and forget I’m still a kid,” is what Jeno tells Mark, later on, when they stop by the grocery store to get Jisung’s mom’s eggs and milk. The blonde is leaning back on the store’s front glass window, and Jeno finishes tying his own shoelaces.

“Maybe it’s hard feeling like a kid when you have to take care of him all the time, no?”

Jeno gets up, hands in his pockets. “I don’t mind taking care of him. He’s my dad, and he raised me on his own for all these years. It’s the least I can do,”

Inside the store, he can see Renjun forcing Chenle to put down all the candies he definitely doesn’t need. The younger flashes him a pout so powerful that Jeno giggles a little at how Renjun rolls his eyes, taking two chocolate bars from his hands and putting them on the basket. He turns his gaze to Mark, who’s watching him curiously.

“You’re a great son, Jenojam,” is what the older tells him, smirking with the nickname. “Just, I don’t know, live a little? Your dad is a grown up. You still have some months on you before you’re one too, so enjoy your adolescence while you have time,”

“Yeah,” Jeno shakes his head. The sun has already set, the street lights making Mark’s hair look almost white. “I guess growing up is hard,”

“Is this a “but” I sense?”

This time, his gaze wanders to the little TV at the shop counter, the screen light flickering over Mark’s shoulder. The images of a bus crash on the street near Jeno’s old house catch his attention, and he clears his throat before adjusting his bag’s shoulder strap. “But some things are harder,” Jeno replies, vaguely. “I gotta go, tell the others I said bye!”

Before Mark can say something, he’s already up on the bike and making his way down the street.

Jeno doesn’t really know when he stops pedaling, but his lungs hurt a little as he pushes his bike under a bush in front of his old building. He can hear the sirens close, and some people shouting, and doesn’t waste his time sliding inside the nearest dark alley, already unzipping the bag quickly. He pushes the school books to one side and sneaks a hand under all of it, fishing the clothing out with a familiar feeling.

Jeno traces the pattern on the black clothing with his thumb, silver streaks fading already after almost two years. It’s cheap, a little messy, but it’s all he’s got. “ _This_ is harder,”  he mutters to himself, with a chuckle. “And I gotta repaint the spiderweb when I get home,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think!! 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


	2. still figuring it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so i had some troubles with this chapter bc a part of it just disappeared?? so i posted it again. sorry!!!
> 
> thanks martina for convincing me to do this. i lobe you.
> 
> nevertheless, enjoy!!

Let's rewind to summer break, half a year before. It's sunny and hot, and Jeno has just become a sophomore, and he's bored out of his mind. But even as bored as he is right now, he doesn't pay much attention to the gleam in his father's eyes.

"It's gonna be fun!" the man promises, throwing a pair of pants on his son's lap – he has developed the habit of walking around the house in his swim trunks, just because they feel really fresh –, which earns him a scowl from Jeno. "Come on, son, this is an opportunity for bonding time!"

"We have plenty of bonding time, we live together," Jeno replies, matter-of-factly. He sets the pants aside and reaches for the TV remote, which his dad promptly steals from the coffee table and holds behind his back. "Why, are you twelve? I have nothing to do! Let me be a normal teenager and spend the day doing nothing! Like other teenagers do!"

"I did not raise you like a normal kid, I'm not going to let you be a normal teenager. Do you want to be boring? That's too bad, you're coming with me and you're going to love all the spiders we're receiving today at the lab, and you're going to th--"

Jeno puts on his pants and waits for him in the car before his dad even blinks.

His dad has been working with the same scientific research team since Jeno was a baby, their headquarters located downtown and a little too far from the suburb where they used to live before moving to the central area. Being just the two of them, it’s not like there was someone to tell him Jeno was too young to be hanging out in a workplace – well, besides his grandmother, but she lived in another city, so she couldn't pry too much. He had grown up sitting in tall stools, peeking inside boxes, playing with turned-off microscopes. After a few years it got less fun, – somewhere along his comic book phase, he started thinking that his dad being a scientist was the coolest thing in the world, only to be very disappointed by the fact that no, his dad didn't spend his time trying to bring Captain America's serum to life –, and sitting there as older men talked over Chemistry equations and scientific articles he barely understood two sentences of started to get boring.

If he's lucky, he can catch them growing a new bacterial culture. It smells awful, and Jeno loves it. A few months before, when he turned sixteen and got his driver's license, his father started letting him go grab boxes of samples and other stuff in the local hospital. But to be frankly honest, Jeno likes to drop by rather to let his father happy than because he actually wants to.

This time, though, as he watches the city bask itself in the sun while they drive to the laboratory, Jeno knows that he was just being his annoying teenager self. He has nothing better to do since most of his friends are out of town for school break and the day before he spent so much time playing volleyball at the club that he's got a permanent and annoying cramp on his leg.

"Dad," he says when they stop waiting for the traffic light to turn green. "Can we go traveling next summer? Please?"

His father, whose name is Sieon and who's very young because he's had Jeno at a very young age, looks at him with a funny expression before turning his attention back to the road. Jeno swears that he thinks he's looking at a mirror, if not for the pair of Truman Capote-y glasses on the bridge of his father's nose. "Of course we can, buttercup," he replies, but Jeno stays silent. He gets the memo. "I mean, I'll see if things are less crazy next year. I do want it, though, where would you like to go?"

Jeno and his dad never traveled. He'd only leave the town in school trips, not that it was that much cool, so he knew nothing about going on a real vacation. His dad had too much work and none of them were keen on the idea of Jeno going traveling with his friends – Renjun always invites him to spend some time with his family back in China, but Jeno is terrified of planes, and one day his friend Johnny invited him to a road trip with his other friend Ten, but this time Jeno didn't want to third wheel, so he said no.

Besides, he wants his first real trip to be with his dad. He doesn't care if he has to wait for it. Fortunately, Jeno can always sit and listen to his friends' stories about summer break, such as Chenle, all tanned skin and smelling of the sea, telling him about beach trips and the seaside, or Mark and his souvenirs from France and terrible accent because he swears he's fluent now.

"I don't know," Jeno replies, and it's true. They pull in on the laboratory's driveway. "I don't care, dad, it could be anywhere as long as we get out of here together,"

(When they leave the car and enter the building, his father presses a kiss to his forehead and tells him he's a really sweet kid. Since Jeno is sixteen and a little shit, he pushes him away laughing, but deep inside he appreciates it.)

When Jeno is sitting at one of the so familiar tall stools, and he spins in it a little before his dad's youngest intern, an exchange student named Kun, turns to him. "You're going to fall, break your neck and die, and that's going to be on me. I'm going to be fired. So stop, please, and help me for a second."

He says that with a serious tone while holding too many boxes in his arms, and Jeno tries his hardest not to laugh because he can't even see Kun grimacing at him as his face is partially hidden by the boxes. "Sure, Kun!"

While his dad and other coworkers talk in the other room, he helps Kun settling the incoming boxes inside, taking the samples and putting them on the different tables of the lab. It's not always that they let Jeno touch things – one time he broke one of his father's newest microscopes, and it took him months to be allowed inside the lab again –, so he's more than happy to help. Also, Kun looks happier than he should be to have someone to boss around instead of being bossed around.

"So," Jeno starts, and he can actually hear the engines working inside Kun's brain as he tries to decipher if Jeno is going to say something that costs him his internship or not. "Why are we playing with spiders today?"

"We're not playing with them," Kun deadpans, which makes Jeno laugh, and the older boy himself loosens up a little bit. "We're working on a new wave of antidotes against spider venom alongside the hospital's research team. So we're going to collect their venom, very carefully because we do not want to be bitten, Jeno, and then..."

He lets Kun rant all he wants as he takes more specimen from the boxes and sets them on the table. Jeno discovers that he likes the pretty, colorful ones better, but Kun tells him that the most venomous ones are usually the fur-coated, angry looking spiders. When the other is called by his dad to do anything that Jeno isn't allowed to, he stays in the back room looking at the different spiders, but especially at one Brazilian specimen that has him thinking most people would rather set fire to their houses than get in the way of this huge guy with impressive chelicerae. Jeno kinds of want to hold it in his hand, though, and take a photo to send to his friends.

Bet Jaemin never saw a spider quite that big before, bet Chenle would piss his pants if he sees that Jeno isn't afraid of it. But he knows that Kun would actually skin him alive if he ever did that. Besides, at some point, one of his dad's coworker tells him that the Brazilian wandering spider has a very, very potent venom that can compromise his baby-making abilities forever, so a very, very embarrassed Jeno decides to leave him alone.

"Hey, everyone," he says, after a couple hours, poking his head through the open door to look at the team working restlessly. Kun raises his head so fast that Jeno's afraid he'll be the one getting whiplash, and his dad smiles at him from one of the tables in the back. "I was thinking about getting coffee for you all if you want? Maybe some food too?"

His suggestion is pretty much appreciated – especially Kun, because he's always the one being sent to get food –, so Jeno happily makes his way to the door, keys in hand.

Jeno's story begins when he feels his foot hit something on the floor, and that something goes flying across the room and hits the other wall with a thud. "Shit!" he exclaims and looks back to check if anyone notices his fuck up.

Coast is clear, apparently, so Jeno bends down to take a look at the empty bottle, its cap rolling and stopping near his foot. He quickly collected it and set it on a countertop, glad everyone was too engrossed in their work to notice him. A funny feeling starts creeping at the back of Jeno's neck because he's sure no venomous spider is supposed to be wandering through the lab unsupervised.

He takes the bottle again and rolls it in his hand, looking at the tiny label glued to it. His dad is going to kill him for losing an _Anansis peculiaris_ , whatever the hell this guy looks like. And if he doesn't kill him, Jeno hopes that the spider itself won't kill him.

If he stays quiet enough, Jeno can hear Kun's voice echoing in his mind, telling him not to do something stupid. That's why he crouches down on the floor again and starts looking for the spider.

"Please, please, don't bite me," Jeno whispers at the unknown as he peeks under the countless tables, counters, and cabinets with his phone's flashlight on. He hopes he didn't kill the spider with his stupidity, also, because he knows killing experiments isn't a nice thing to do.

It doesn't take long. He finds the specimen calmly resting under one of the cabinets near the exit door. Thank god _Anansis peculiaris_ isn't one of the fur-coated, big spiders, because perhaps Jeno wouldn't have much guts to deal with him. Instead, he's greeted with a fairly small – as in, the size of his thumb counting its legs as well –, black spider, with shiny silver rings and a cool pattern on its torso.

"Hey, little guy!" Jeno whispers, settling his phone aside so he doesn't hurt the spider with the light. "I've never seen such a pretty spider before. Why don't you crawl back into your bottle, huh?"

He calmly puts the empty bottle near the spider, waiting for it to come inside.

On the other hand, the little guy seems to have other ideas. Soon enough a long, long leg stretches and is followed by the others, and it starts climbing Jeno's hand. With his heart on his throat, Jeno tries not to freak out, knowing that it would only startle the spider and earn him a goddamn bite. Besides, it looks too pretty and chill, just standing there, probably looking at him with its eight eyes and wondering why such a strange creature like Jeno is bothering him.

"Aren't you sweet!" Jeno whispers, when he's sure the little guy won't bite him, instead just chilling on the palm of his hand. He starts wondering if his dad would let him take the spider as a pet, but figures it wouldn't be a good idea.

He slowly motions his hand to drop the little guy inside the bottle when the sound of a box falling to the floor startles him. Jeno fell on his butt with a yelp, and the next thing he knew, the spider was already inside the bottle, trying to climb its way back outside. Jeno rolled in the cap quickly, whispering an apology just as his dad's voice echoed from the other room. "Sorry, guys!" his voice said, "It was on me,"

Jeno puts the bottle on the countertop fast, and is out of the door in a second, heart beating loud in his chest. He only realizes the tiny, painless bite in his palm many hours later, as he sits in his room and talks to Renjun over the phone.

"Shit, man," he groans, holding the hand close to his face to see better. "Injun, if I die, I want you to have my collection of beer bottle caps, and also Bongshik,"

On the other side of the call, Renjun snorts loudly. "I don't want any of that. I want your bike. Jaemin can have your cat,"

"Oh, thanks for the consideration, Renjun..."

 

Being a superhero in his little, pacate town isn't much fun, but Jeno still likes it.

Half a year later, Jeno realizes that becoming a hero was probably the best thing he's done in his life – besides joining the volleyball team, because it earned him super nice legs and occasional lunch with older, cooler guys like Johnny and his friends. He'd figured he should put his powers to good use the day he was walking home after a late night practice and saw a burglar running away with an old lady's purse in hand. He didn't even think much about it, shot a web in the guys direction and hoped something good would come out of it.

Things could have gone wrong in many, many ways – the guy could have been armed, maybe shot him on the spot, shot the old lady, he doesn't know – but fortunately, it worked just fine. He had stuck the guy's hand to a wall, called the police and calmed down the old lady before getting the hell out of there. _Nice one, Lee Jeno,_ he though, later that night while he laid on his bed.

Whenever he does something nice for someone – be it helping little kids cross the street, rescuing someone stuck on a lift, pinning burglars to the city's walls before they have the chance to rob someone or some place –, Jeno is struck with a warm feeling in his chest. Of course, he fucks up big time every now and then, falling from buildings because his web didn't catch the right way, actually having been punched in the face for a guy that didn't want to be rescued from where he was hanging by the feet in a tree, but it's quite nice. He knows how to do his thing, and if he has the power to help people, even if it means going out at night with his face hidden and running the risk of getting shot by a thug and a cop – they didn't like him that much –, Jeno will do it without thinking twice.

"I've gotten a lot better at it, Bongshik," he tells his cat from where he's hanging on the ceiling of his bedroom. He does that, sometimes. Just sitting there, upside down, it helps him think. Bongshik isn't amused, as if she's seen worse. Jeno found her on the streets back in middle school, so she probably has. "I mean, my knee never really fully recovered from that time a moving truck smashed it into pieces, but even then I managed not to get outed to everyone, right?

The media vehicles are pretty much interested in knowing his true identity. That time Jeno tried to stop a car accident and got himself literally under a moving truck, he pulled out his actor side and pretended he was there all the time by the time people noticed there was someone under the vehicle, having actually thrown his mask inside the sewers because he didn't know where to hide it and was sure someone would try to pull it off him if he asked for help as Spiderling – oh, that's his hero name, by the way. Jeno actually wanted to go by Spiderman, but he knows Marvel would sue in a heartbeat.

His father almost had a heart attack, finding him in the hospital later on, and even Jeno's spider genes couldn't help much with his knee. It took him a while to recover from that.

A voice calls from downstairs, and he quickly jumps into his bed as if he's been sitting there all along. Bongshik lets out an annoyed meow and runs out of his bedroom quickly. "What!", he replies.

"I said--" his father repeats. "--dinner's ready, so get your butt down here, buttercup."

Jeno, age seventeen and counting, blushes a furious red. He thinks his dad is never going to let go of his childhood nickname, but it always gets him embarrassed. " _On it, dad!_ "

Being a superhero in his small, pacate town isn’t much fun, but it feels like one of the only things in Jeno’s life that feel like a constant, like something he can rely on without worrying that it will go away. Like sitting in this very table and downing an entire glass of homemade ice tea just because he feels like it, like that particular wood on the floor that creaks horribly when they step on it, and his dad never bothered to fix it.

Jeno knows that in the next morning he can still find his cheap, handcrafted suit that still needs improvement but is right there, hidden inside his wardrobe. He knows that any time, any place, someone out there will need his help and he'll be willing to do it. He knows he can rely on his kind-of sixth sense ("A Spider-sense!" he hiccupped, one night at Jaehyun's house after sipping more beers than he should behind Doyoung's back. "What the hell are you talking about?" Mark had asked, but Jeno just played dumb) – to tell him when things get sketchy, knows he can rely on his ever-improving agility and strength that even got him earning praises from his volleyball coach after years of being quite a tragedy at the sport.

He smiles at his noodles mindlessly. On the other side of the table, his father raises an eyebrow at him, to which Jeno shrugs. "Can I get another cat?" he asks, just to avoid any questions.

"Absolutely not, your allergy will only get worse," his father replies, in a heartbeat, though he snorts over his glass of ice tea. "Also, Bongshik still pees in my bed. She's just going to teach that to the future cats,"

"Ah, so there will be future cats!"

"Nope, I didn't say that, eat your food before it gets cold--"

Jeno smiles again, and happily eats as he feels Bongshik rubbing against his legs. He doesn't care about allergies. The only things he care about is getting more cats, getting a good grade on his upcoming Chemistry test and continuing to save the world day by day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to let kudos and/or a comment!!!
> 
> thanks for reading and see you soon. mwah
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


	3. see it all in bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are again!!!
> 
> thank you so much for the comments in the 1st chapter. overall i'm very happy with the response to this fic so thank you so much for giving me a chance?!?!?! aaa
> 
> anyway, here comes chapter 2. thank you for being here.
> 
> super duper cool [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/7kqXmLHQz6SK57WAe17XkN?si=_qO91Bz_QvmQas3OuQBxZw)

 "Do you think this color is nice?"

Jeno pauses the game he was playing on his phone and looks up, only to see Donghyuck holding up a bottle of green nail polish, and when Jeno squints his eyes, he can see it's called emerald _dream_. "It's cool," he replies, because it's true, and Donghyuck happily drops the bottle inside his basket, alongside the things his grandmother asked him to buy.

"Is it for you?" Jeno asks, pocketing his phone this time.

"No," the other replies, and then he gently brushes another bottle of nail polish on the display with the tip of his finger, this time a yellow one. "It's for Yuta. I broke his and now I'm buying a new one for him because Johnny made me feel bad about it,"

While he's paying, Jeno analyzes Donghyuck's hands as they rest on the cashier counter. His nails are pretty, even though cut a bit too short, and would look good with the yellow nail polish he had his eyes on. Then Mark calls for them outside the store, and Jeno keeps that thought safe in some part of his mind.

"What took you so long?" Mark asks as soon as they walk out of the door, throwing his skateboard on the floor and jumping onto it. "Hyuck is going to get late for his lesson if we don't hurry now, and then he'll take ages to get to my house later on because Johnny won't let him go,"

Said boy snorts, picking up his own board from where it was resting near Jeno's bicycle. "Chill a little, Markos. It's not like Johnny minds anyway, I can always leave earlier if I want to,"

Johnny Seo is a legend. Not because he was the school's most popular guy before graduating – that's his friend Jaehyun, who used to be a jock but a nerd at the same time –, but because he's one of the smartest, kindest people Jeno has ever met. He's the son of one of his dad's acquaintances, and they used to have playdates because of it until Johnny was old enough to babysit him – and because Jeno's mom had left, and his dad couldn't take care of him when he was working. Johnny is cool, tall, handsome, and to Jeno he's just like that cousin everyone loves, besides them not being blood-related.  He also teaches Donghyuck guitar lessons once a week, and helped Mark set up his Soundcloud account when the latter decided he was going to be a rapper, because Johnny is just like that – he has a lot of hobbies, loves music more than anything, takes cool pictures with a real camera and can dress up like a barbecue dad and an emo Instagram model just the same. He's cool and Jeno likes him a lot.

That's why when Mark turns a left to go to his house, shouting a goodbye, he continues with Donghyuck down the street in direction to Johnny's apartment block, hoping to be able to hang out a little until Donghyuck becomes too distracted for Johnny to let him stay.

Not differently from many occasions, "Go home, Jeno." is exactly what Johnny tells him when Hyuck loses focus for the nth time and Jeno was just _breathing_. He whines loudly, but it only makes the eldest raise an eyebrow.

"I wasn't doing anything!" he replies, but sets his bowl of cereal on Taeil's – Johnny's roommate – desk anyway. "Not my fault Hyuck has the attention span of a goldfish."

It takes exactly half a second for Donghyuck to throw an entire notebook in his direction, and Jeno dodges it like it was meaningless. Spidey privilege. "I'm gonna kick your ass," is what the younger says, but his cheeks flush a bright red.

Jeno doesn't notice. He's already picking up his coat from the couch and then bids goodbye to them. "Shut the fuck up, Johnny," is the last thing he hears Donghyuck say before walking out of the door.

  

Jeno meant to get to Mark's house. He swears on it, wouldn't ever lose an opportunity to kick Chenle's butt in Overwatch, but duty called just as he crossed the city, and he forgot about it after keeping two guys from robbing a bank and holding hostages. The thought doesn't even cross his mind for the rest of the afternoon.

He uses the front door when he gets home, all silent steps and carefully avoiding the loose wood tiles that would make too much noise. Jeno could crawl through his window like he usually does, but his ribs hurt from when that especially violent guy had kicked him after he tried to retrieve the money bag the duo had just stolen from the bank, so he doesn't want to risk hurting himself more.

The kitchen is empty, luckily – his father must be asleep already –, so Jeno fishes a bag of frozen peas out of the refrigerator and presses it against the side of his head – he hit it on the floor, and it made him think he should look up impact-absorbing clothing to improve his suit –, and his backpack starts to slowly slip on his shoulder when a loud bing is heard, followed by many others, a cacophony at full volume that has Jeno cursing loudly, startled.

"Jeno?" his father calls from upstairs. "Son, weren't you staying over at Mark's today?"

Holding the back of peas between his head and shoulder, Jeno takes the phone out of his back pocket. "Yeah, uh, I remembered I have homework to do, so I came back!"

 

group chat: hyuck is a bitch

 

pwark jayjay | 21:03 | seen

jeno are u ditching us??

 

injunie | 21:03 | seen

don't swear

  

pwark jayjay | 21:04 | seen

don't tell me what to do

   

markos | 21:05 | seen

jenojam where are u lol

 

handsome nana | 21:05 | seen

pls reply

???

 

chenlegend changed group chat's name to "jeno is a bitch"

 

chenlegend | 21:06 | seen

maybe he's died

i want his comics

 

hyuckles | 21:06 | seen

i want his shoes

 

injunie | 21:08 | seen

YOU TWO SHUT

LEE JENO

IF YOU DIE I'M GONNA BE SO MAD

 

There's movement upstairs, and Jeno knows his dad is going downstairs at any minute. He drops the frozen peas to the floor and quickly changes out of his suit, tucking it deep under his school books. _Thank you so much, guys, really,_ he thinks, before putting the peas back in the fridge and sitting down on the counter like nothing happened.

 

lee jeno | 21:11 | seen

uh

can't talk rn guys

im sorry

dad stuff

 

The others go a little crazy in the group chat again, asking if he’s grounded, if his dad found out about the time Jeno had donated his worn-out shoes without him knowing – he had been using the same pair for years, Jeno was tired of the old vans that had seen better days, and his dad still thinks he just lost it somewhere –, and if Jeno had crashed Johnny’s car and was in trouble. As if Johnny would let him drive it, but one time Jeno was feeling a little cocky and might have told Mark that sometimes Johnny lets him borrow his car so he can take his dates to the drive-in.

He has never even kissed somebody in his life, nor driven a car that wasn't his dad's, and Johnny was way too protective of his Chevy, but Mark fell like a fool. Jeno had never bothered to say the truth after that.

And then, a different ping comes out of his phone’s speaker, and he looks down to see Donghyuck’s contact name popping up on the screen.

 

private chat: hyuckles

 

hyuckles | 21:12 | seen

is everything alright lol

i mean u fine!

*?

 

He starts typing out a reply, but a cough makes Jeno look up from the phone, only to find his dad leaning on the kitchen doorstep. "Hey there, kid,"

Growing up, Jeno used to hear from everyone that his dad and him looked extremely similar, almost like they were brothers. Sieon is a very young guy – when Jeno was born, he was still in his early twenties –, and could easily pass as his older brother if not for the, as Jeno called, modern mad scientist looks. He walked around with his Truman Capote glasses, pitch black hair a little disheveled, lab coat over jogging trousers and the dorky t-shirts Jeno gets him every Christmas, bacterial cultures forgotten in his pockets instead of loose pennies and so on. They've got the same nose, same hands, and their lips curl the same way when smiling.

But Jeno has his mother's eyes. He doesn't know if it's the shape, the color, the way they look in the sunlight – he doesn't remember, doesn't really want to –, but it's enough to make his dad's smile falter sometimes, even if it's just for a split second, like they do now. It makes him a little blue, like the tiles on the kitchen wall.

That's why Jeno gets up and walks up to him, snatches the glasses on top of his head and puts them on. "Do I look good?"

He hits jackpot. His dad smiles immediately. "Almost as handsome as me! Hey, what if we-- Lee Jeno! How the hell did you hurt your head, come here, son--”

The clock ticks midnight by the time Jeno comes out of the shower, head still hurting a little but way better than before. Lee Sieon can be a scientist but Jeno can fool him like no one – not that he takes pride in that, of course, but being a superhero without your father knowing has taught him a thing or two –, so he believes it when Jeno says he had some trouble with a guy that tried to stole his school bag. After a moral lesson about how, in any circumstance, you’re not supposed to react to a robbery, and after some painkillers too, he sent Jeno off to the shower with the promise of a cup of tea and Buzzfeed Unsolved. It’s only when Jeno sits down on the couch, wearing pajamas and with a cup of warm camomile tea on his hands, that he remembers Donghyuck’s text.

“I’m a dumbass,” he comments, out loud, to which his dad, sitting on the other side of the couch, replies “Not always, pumpkin, not always,”, but Jeno doesn’t even bother to reply the slander.

 

lee jeno | 23:23 | seen

dobghyuck

*donghyuck

i’m sorry i started talking to my dad??

and forgot to replu??

*reply

   

hyuckles | 23:25 | seen

no biggie

u good?

 

lee jeno | 23:25 | seen

yeah!!

kk

tell nana to stop worrying ok

 

lee jeno | 23:26 | seen

i mean

no need 2 b asking you to check on me

he's such a mother hen

 

hyuckles | 23:26 | seen

huh

of course

haha

i’ll tell him that

 

hyuck | 23:27 | seen

gnight jeno

 

lee jeno | 23:28 | unseen

gnight donghyuck :-)

 

The sunlight peaks through the leaves up above Jeno, and he adjusts his head many times before settling in a position that doesn’t compromise his vision with the light. His Biology notes are scattered on the grass, some of them on top of Jeno's stomach, some of them having been carried away by the wind and resting a couple feet from him, and somewhere to his left is Renjun, sighing as he presses a phone to his ear.

“No,” he says, in an impatient voice. “I said no, Jaemin, don’t make it difficult.”

Jaemin whines so loudly that Jeno can hear it through the phone. He watches it, entertained, as Renjun twists his face painfully like he's been shot. Jeno knows because he's been shot once – almost, that is, the bullet just grazed his shoulder. Superhero life and all, he went to play a volleyball match either way.

“I’m going to hang up,” Renjun threatens. “I’m-- I’m trying to _study_ for Bio. Like you should be doing, by the way. What? Of course you can’t study in my room, if you're finished, leave my house _right now_ . I don’t care if my mom let you stay, I don’t trust you with-- _Na Jaemin!”_

With a last groan, he drops his phone to the floor, face in his hands, and Jeno watches as the call ends and the phone’s screen return to its usual image. It's a picture they all took earlier in the year, and Jeno likes it a lot. He tilts his head in Renjun's direction.

“He literally spent the morning there,” Renjun starts, regaining composure as he straightens his back and holds the Biology book tighter in his small hands. “And my mom let him. She probably did it because of his smile-- what can he possibly not get smiling like that, it’s insufferable.”

“You love him,” Jeno teases, and laughs at Renjun’s disgusted face. “C’mon, don’t pull a Jisung on me. You're past your I-hate-everyone phase,"

“You guys are all under Jaemin’s spell,” the older replies, matter-of-factly. “Only Jisung and I know how not to listen to the siren’s call. Jaemin thinks he can get me to do anything when he bats his lashes and say please, for me? And--”

“Can’t he?”

“Of course not. I don’t fall for his tricks, I never did. You, on the other hand…”

“Not always!”

“You _always_ listen to Jaemin. Donghyuck too, which doesn't make sense but makes it even more insufferable. I wonder what I did to deserve you two,” Renjun sighs. He pushes his book in Jeno’s lap, grabbing his phone again before starting to type furiously on the screen. “Screw botanics, I can't stop thinking about it now that Jaemin mentioned it. He was going to use my computer to look at prices because his is broken, and now I regret telling him to come over while we're studying. He's so gonna hack into my Facebook… Anyway, are you in for Donghyuck's birthday gift or not?"

The first half of the year has passed in a heartbeat, and Jeno didn't even realized it's June already. He ponders for a second, and Renjun's eyes are fixed on his, waiting for a reply.

"Tuesday, right?"

"Yes, but we're going to buy his gift tomorrow. If you join, I can tell Johnny we already have enough money so he can buy something else for him,"

They've been planning on buying Donghyuck a guitar for months. The latter currently owns a very old guitar Johnny had sold to him when he started playing, and even if Donghyuck has grown quite fond of it, Jaemin had the idea of buying a newer, better one for him, something that would be truly his. At first, Chenle, Renjun and Jaemin were paying, but Jisung and Mark wanted to help as well, and Jeno still has some money from when he babysat his neighbour's kid last school break and wasn't necessarily going to do something with it, so that's why he says "Sure, I'm in!" before Renjun and him resume studying for their upcoming test.

  

With his dad's glasses propped up on the bridge of his nose, Jeno walks to school lazily on Monday, one hand on the pockets of his trousers and the other busy with a coffee holder.

Jeno has always thought his school is kind of boring, but he likes it anyway. There's nothing really special about it, not the kind of school that makes you fall in love with studying, but something about it makes everything feel like home to him – he walks through the same corridors since he was a kid, familiar with the brick walls stained with ink from daring students who risk getting a detention by drawing silly doodles on them, and he knows for a fact that you can't use the third stall on the boys bathroom by the third floor because it doesn't have a lock. It's kind of boring, of course, as most schools are, but Jeno also thinks that not everything has to be stupidly cool – ordinary suits him just right most times.

Ordinary doesn't let him down, and it grants Jeno the element of surprise when things turn out better than he thought. Ordinary is cool – iced americano, plain t-shirts, a pair of black Converses. Ordinary is cool – a 7 on a test he didn't really study for, vanilla ice cream, a day without any trouble in which Jeno can pretend he's not supposed to save the world. Ordinary is what he aims for, something he doesn't always have, something he cherishes when he gets. The school is ordinary, his classmates are ordinary, _this_ part of his life is as ordinary as it gets, so Jeno wouldn't have it any other way.

Ordinary, although, can never be used to describe Lee Donghyuck. That's something Jeno had learned a few years before, when he first met him, and something Donghyuck never lets him forget about.

That being clear, Jeno pushes a cup against the younger's chest when he finds him by the school's double doors, motioning for him to pick up the pace. It's not an iced americano like his, but a large frappuccino with too much cream and it's obnoxiously sweet, a blue monstrosity that only Jeno is willing to pay for in the morning. It suits him well – Donghyuck, that is.

"I can't skate holding this, I'll spill everything," Donghyuck says, but the tone of his voice says thank you, so Jeno only nods. The other then presses a paper bag to his side, and Jeno grabs it before it falls to the ground. Next thing he knows Donghyuck is already skating down the corridor, the other students smart enough to let him through instead of letting themselves be run over.

He chuckles at the paper bag in his hand. He knows, for a fact, that he's going to find one of Donghyuck's grandmother's homemade multigrain loaves inside of it. The first time he tasted it, they were twelve and Donghyuck was the new kid in the neighbourhood, so it wasn't a surprise when he invited them over to have coffee – or orange juice – with his grandmother and she made them fresh bread to have it with.

Jeno had liked it too much. He literally couldn't stop talking about it to his dad, who kindly asked for the recipe over the phone, but no matter how many times they tried, it just wouldn't be the same. After Donghyuck found out about it one time the kids stayed over at Jeno's for his birthday ("Jeno won't stop talking about your grandmother's bread, you know!" "Really, Mr. Lee? I'll bring some to him, then!"), he started bringing some for Jeno at school.

When they got older and coffee turned out to be an ally at exams week, Jeno decided to start bringing him a cup, since he walked past a coffee shop every day on his way to school. It's their thing, a tradition they never really speak of – not that they could, with the way Donghyuck always bolts away quickly after their exchange.

Jeno shrugs, places the paper bag inside his backpack and makes his way to the lockers alone.

  

"I don't get why anarchists hate being associated with communists so much," Jeno says, as they leave class hip to hip. "Like, that's your cousin. Literally."

"One of my cousins stabbed the other for a banana chip," is what Renjun replies. "So I kind of get them, I guess."

“One of your-- God, why is everyone’s families so bizarre?”

“Well, Jisung’s is pretty chill. Chenle’s too,”

“Chenle’s can’t be. They’re rich. They got to be a little crazy, it’s basic rich family culture.”

Renjun’s laughter still echoes in his ears when they reach the lockers, quickly pushing books and notepads inside the tiny cubicles in order to get to the cafeteria as soon as possible. Jeno has Donghyuck’s paper bag secure in hand, and Renjun gives him a funny look. “What?”, it makes him ask.

To him, Huang Renjun is like the Moon. Jeno has known him for the most part of his life, which feels like a lot when you're seventeen, but there's a side to him that is always hidden, that peeks out a little when you're least expecting and Jeno can never understand him when he's like that – but he guesses it's okay. It's impossible to know your friends inside and out for sure, and there's nothing wrong with that after all.

“You guys are cute,” Renjun replies simply as they walk down the corridor. “I mean, Hyuck has never done anything like this to any of us, not even Mark, and Mark is his bestest friend ever. And _you_ never buy me coffee unless I bully you into it, right?”

Jeno shrugs. “I don’t get where you’re going, Injun,"

The other boy shakes his head, a reassuring smile on his lips. “I don't know, it's not even that deep. I just think it’s nice that you and Hyuck have your own thing,”

Jeno thinks it’s nice too, but he doesn’t say anything, just nodding at Renjun’s words. He looks at the paper bag in his hands for a couple seconds, but any thought is wiped from his mind as soon as they walk through the cafeteria’s door.

The others are already in their usual spot by the window. Mark is the first to see them, waving excitedly. Tucked right by his side is Donghyuck, too busy reading something on his phone and munching quietly on his food. He only looks up when Jeno sits down on the chair across from him. The latter offers him a smile, but Donghyuck only shoves the phone on his face.

“Spiderling was at it yesterday, did you see?” he says. “They got him on tape. Literally a billion of videos of him swinging back and forth on his stupid cobweb as he tries to be a hero, or something like that.”

Jeno shifts uncomfortably on his seat. By Donghyuck’s side, Jaemin’s smile is nervous, and he doesn't know why. It only makes his stomach twist a little. “And you’re telling me that, because… ?” Jeno asks, pretending to be interested the milk carton he just bought.

Donghyuck’s eyebrows come together in disappointment for a split second, but Jeno doesn’t see it. Renjun, on the other hand, does. He tilts his head in curiosity, but Donghyuck flips him off and then says: “Well, aren’t you Spiderling’s biggest fan?”

“You only say that because Jeno signed that petition against them forcing Spiderling to reveal his true self,” Jaemin replies before he does, oddly. “I signed too, and Mark and Chenle as well. It’s not that deep, Hyuck, leave him alone.”

“Yeah,” Jeno adds, forcing a chuckle. “I don’t care about a loser in spandex. I just think the guy has the right to, uh, do his thing. That doesn’t make me a fan?”

Phone dropping to the table’s surface, Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “His _thing_ is illegal and he’s going to get himself killed, but whatever.”

This time, it’s Chenle who puts his phone down. “It’s not illegal, though. He’s just trying to help,”

“He’s a mess. People can’t go out there and play vigilante, pretending they’ve come straight out of a comic book. The real world isn’t like that, guys. Spiderling is just a kid pretending to be a hero, and that’s all,”

The air that settles is heavy with something that makes the back of Jeno’s head hot, the hairs on his neck tingling. He has that, the ability to tell when something feels off, unusual. It makes him sad, to feel like that among his friends.

By the other end of the table, Jisung and Chenle quietly put back on shared headphones, returning to the video they were seeing before. Jaemin plays dumb, looking at anywhere but his friends – which earns him a curious look from Jeno himself, but he acknowledge notice him – and Mark isn’t much better, absolutely mute with eyes fixed on the table like his half-eaten sandwich is the most interesting thing he's seen all day.

Jeno tries to shake off the weird feeling by staring at his hands, like he always does. By his side, Renjun stares at Donghyuck’s face with an unreadable expression, but Donghyuck’s eyes are fixed on Jeno.

Not that he ever notices when that happens. By the time the red haired drops his gaze, it’s already time for them to get back to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to let me know what you thought and leave a kudo!! <3
> 
> hmu on twitter (@morktwt) if you wanna talk about this or about nct dream's comeback. by the way, what did you guys think of it? i loved it!!! i'm super excited to listen to the other songs.
> 
> that's it, i think! see you guys another day. mwah


	4. go on, and sing it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii!!!
> 
> today i'm bringing you some birthday vibes and jaemin being jaemin. i really like this chapter but i think i've said this in all chapters so i might be biased?? who cares 
> 
> ENJOY.

Donghyuck not really being into Spiderling isn’t exactly news for Jeno.

See, being himself has brought him trouble in many ways. It’s not that he expects his friends to be total fans of his superhero counterpart. He knows for a fact that a lot of people don’t really like him – it took some months until they realized Spiderling wasn’t a batshit crazy fan of Spiderman, but someone that truly wanted to help. Same thing with his friends. Chenle is kind of obsessed with him, loves that someone like Spiderling exists; Jisung still thinks it's a publicity stunt for an upcoming movie; Mark doesn't really care but he doesn't hate him either; Jaemin acts a little strange and Renjun doesn't care at all.

Donghyuck hates him. Jeno knows it. He hates him like most cops of the city do, but in that case, Jeno doesn't mind because the feeling is mutual. Donghyuck is a whole different story. He thinks Spiderling is stupid, a kid trying to be a hero, and sometimes Jeno finds himself thinking that he's right.

"Someone who plays vigilante is only going to worsen criminality. It's the same with people having access to guns, you know?" Donghyuck had said so many times that Jeno remembers exactly how he said it. "People will start thinking that… That you can just go and use violence to end violence. I don't believe in that. This city… This city is a mess as it is. Police is filled with clowns already, we don't need a kid hero messing it up even more. That's why I despise that Spiderling guy,"

He knows that Hyuck means no harm. He's just strongly opinionated, but Jeno would be lying if he ever says his heart doesn't beat faster every time Donghyuck brings Spiderling up, or any of his friends in that case. That's why he tries his hardest not to encounter them when in superhero duty, avoiding the places they usually go like the plague. It has worked so far – keeping his distance, keeping his identity a secret, protecting Spiderling from the red haired's harsh comments, even if it means looking like a fanboy to Donghyuck's eyes.

"You guys gotta talk it out," is what Jaemin says on the next day, leaning against his locker. Jeno sighs, closing the little door to his. "Things can't be awkward at TY's later,"

"It's not that deep, Jaem, I don't even know why you're bothered about it," he replies, but the look in the other boy's eyes tells him that Jaemin isn't buying any of it. He's acting odd, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket, and it makes Jeno a little anxious. "Listen, Hyuck never liked Spiderling. That discussion just got a little out of hand but it's still the same as it has always been, and I don't even care, this has nothing to do with me,"

Jaemin nods then switches his gaze to the rest of the students that fill the corridor. "Come with me to the bathroom,"

When the younger leans back on the sink after checking the stalls are empty, Jeno feels a shiver down his spine. He crosses his arms and waits for it, and then Jaemin pops his lips theatrically and says: "I know you're Spiderling,"

Jeno's heart drops to the dirty floor, just like his chin.

"I've known for months, actually," Jaemin continues, and his cheeks are blushing so hard that Jeno doesn't even believe it because his friend is not someone to blush like that. "I felt bad about it because you didn't know I knew, and of course I didn't tell anyone, but I've been so worried lately that--"

"How the fuck?"

An older boy enters the bathroom, and they stay in complete silence as the guy goes and does his business. When he leaves, Jeno crosses his arms.

"I know you, Jen," Jaemin replies, quietly. "Somewhere around Christmas Spiderling kept a bus from toppling over after skidding on the road. He made everybody leave and there was this kid..."

"Who was crying. I-- I didn't see you,"

Jaemin shrugs. "I was wearing too many coats. The kid was crying and Spiderling stroke his cheek so dearly, like you only do with Chenle, and I knew it had to be you."

It clicks on his mind. Jeno remembers it fairly well, how terrifying was to watch the bus skidding on the road, how cold it was that day, the sound of the kid crying. "Jesus, around Christmas?" he says. "And why didn't you tell me you knew, Nana? Shit, does anyone else know?"

"Uh," replies Jaemin, eloquently. "It was fun seeing you tiptoe around the topic all this time. And no one besides me knows, don't worry. Well, speaking of that..."

Now Jeno knows what's coming. "No."

"If you told Donghyuck the truth," Jaemin starts, walking over to him to place his hands on both of Jeno's shoulders. "He wouldn't bicker so much about it. He'd be mortified, yes, but at least we could have lunch without it looking like he's going to jump you--"

"You talk too much for someone who didn't even bother telling me that you knew my biggest secret of all fucking time."

"-- not that this is the only reason Donghyuck wants to jump you, of course."

"What?"

But Jaemin is still talking, something about how spilling Jeno's biggest secret to their friend would bring benefits to all parties and even bring them closer, so Jeno pushes him off, picks paper from the dispenser, wets it on the sink and throws the disgusting ball at him. " _Lee Jeno!_ "

"Why would Donghyuck jump me if not for Spiderling? What did I do to piss him off besides that? Why does everyone know shit I don't?"

Jaemin looks at him like he's grown two heads, completely forgetting about the weird stain on his shirt and the wet ball of paper on the floor. And then he laughs on Jeno's face. "Oh, the irony."

Before he can say anything, the bell rings and desperate students who don't know how to manage their time start bundling inside on the bathroom. Jaemin uses the opportunity to walk past him without looking back, leaving a confused Jeno behind.

 

"I'm calling off today's practice," is what Johnny says when he picks Jeno up after school, leaning back on the side of his car. Inside the vehicle, Ten waves excitedly, saying something Jeno doesn't hear because of the closed windows. "You're coming with us to help tidy up Taeyong's place for the party,"

"Thank God," Jeno replies, then shrugs when Johnny raises an eyebrow. "I forgot my practice shoes, I'm sorry,"

Johnny looks like he's ready to give him the scold of the century, but bless Ten's little heart as he forces the car door open, almost pushing Johnny comically onto the sidewalk. Jeno doesn't have the heart to lie to him, but no way he's gonna spill his secret to another person. It's bad enough Jaemin found out about him. "Come on in, losers, the ice cream I bought is going to melt!"

The ride to Taeyong's apartment is quick, filled with small talk and Ten's performance of Taeyeon's newest track. At some point Jeno just sits back and watches amusedly as the other two interact, silently wishing that Johnny would have the guts to go and hold Ten's hand like he obviously wants to – also, because Jeno can't stop thinking about what Jaemin said in the bathroom earlier, and he can't think properly if Johnny keeps making small talk with him.

He checks his phone in search of any message from the younger boy, but his inbox is empty safe for his father's "Have fun today!" and the last birthday meme Chenle sent to the group chat, now named "HYUCK LET US LOVE YOU CHALLENGE". He puts the phone back in his backpack pocket and watches as Ten switches from station to station in search of something he'd like to hear.

By his side, Johnny has heart eyes, but that's not news. As far as Jeno can remember, Johnny has been pining over the older ever since the day Ten said his boots were nice, somewhere along in middle school. Johnny was in completely, utterly, forever in love, and he told him so as he cleaned Jeno's scratched knee from when he fell on the sidewalk while riding his new bike. Now he talks about it when they have practice, and Jeno has to physically stop himself from throwing his shoe at him because _damn it Seo, toss it right_.

"Why don't you make a move, dude," he says, all the time, in every opportunity he gets. This time, Jeno says it when they're standing by Taeyong's kitchen. "He probably likes you back, judging by how he puts up with everything you do without complaining,"

"You don't know!" is the answer, scream-whispered over a glass of ice tea. Johnny looks around as if Ten could jump out of the fridge at any moment. "We've been friends for so long. He probably sees me as his… I don't know. Bro or something,"

"He's gay," deadpans Yuta, who's actually behind the fridge, fixing the broken power station that could have ruined their night if Jeno hadn't found out about it, when he went to put the sodas to cool and found out everything in Taeyong's fridge was starting to melt and so on. They haven't figured out how that happened yet. "He doesn't see anyone as his bro. That's not even a real word in Ten's vocabulary, I think. And he's in love with you too, you dumb fuck. Go be gay together, you're too old for teenage drama. Leave that to Jeno,"

"Hey!"

Johnny only groans. He hates being confronted by his feelings so Jeno, besides outraged by Yuta's commentary, gives him a reassuring tap on the shoulder, and clicks his Coke with Johnny's ice tea.

"Alright, this shit is past repair," the Japanese says, after putting Taeyong's fridge in place. "Let's take everything to my fridge, tell TY he has to buy a new one and see how long it takes for him to cry about it,"

 

Taeyong lives on the twelfth floor of an old brick building downtown, close to the school the youngers attend (and where most of the olders studied too) and somewhere Jeno always passes by when in hero duty. Yuta lives next door, but they never really go to his place because he always claims his apartment is too empty and that must be because Yuta is never there, always sleeping by his boyfriend’s four blocks away. Jeno thinks he might have crashed against a wall of their building once or twice while getting the hang of his powers, but he's never going to tell any of them that.

The apartment is tiny, and Jeno doesn't know how it's going to fit all thirteen of them. Donghyuck's birthday gifts are all hidden in Taeyong's bedroom, and there's a cake that Johnny had bought inside Yuta's fridge as well as Ten's ice cream. The latter, with Jeno's help, had managed to clean the place fair quickly, just in time for Renjun and Jaemin to get there alongside Doyoung and his boyfriend, Jaehyun.

"Alright, everyone," Doyoung's hands are resting on his hips as he paces back and forth in Taeyong's living room where they're all sat, either on the couch or floor. "Mark must be bringing Hyuck right now. Anyone know anything about Lele's and Jisung's whereabouts?"

"Uh," Renjun raises his phone, from where he's sitting on the couch, legs thrown on top of Jaemin's. "Their moms didn't let them come, apparently. School day and all,"

All of them groan in unison. "No way!" Jaemin says. "Hyuck's gonna bitch about it for ages. We better brace ourselves, family,"

"Don't say that, Nana," Doyoung, now standing by the window, peaks outside as he speaks, and then turns back to them. "Injun, please, tell the kids it's alright. Now, let's just wait for them to show up!"

 

When Donghyuck opens the door only to find them all bundled up in Taeyong's living room with cake and Ten screaming at the top of his lungs, he starts crying on the spot. In addition, although, spends the next thirty minutes or so denying it, pressing the sleeves of his hoodie to his tear-stained cheeks and telling Yuta to fuck off. ("Language!" "Shut the fuck up, Taeyong,")

"You guys are assholes," he says, later on, mouth full of strawberry cake. "When Mark texted me talking about a guys night out, playing FIFA and stuff because Yuta bought a new Xbox, I thought you all had forgotten about me. Even you, Injunie, I was so hurt!"

Renjun raises his eyebrows, unbothered. "If you had gone to school, you wouldn't think you were forgotten, would you? Besides that, we did send texts, that you conveniently decided to ignore,"

Several points are made, but it has always been Donghyuck's personal tradition to skip class on his birthdays – the only day in the year in which he's allowed to sleep in, get ice cream for breakfast _and_ walk around in his boxers, grandmother's rules that he only gets to ignore every 6th of June. On the other hands, ignoring texts was just him being petty because he likes to read it all in the next morning and say "Oh, I didn't even see you guys sent this!".

Propped up on one of the chairs they dragged from the kitchen, Jeno snorts over his soda.

"Of course we didn't forget," says Taeyong, softly, from where he's sitting on the couch. He sports freshly dyed pink hair, which matches the cake just right. "Being seventeen is a big deal, Hyuck!"

Donghyuck scoffs, and a tiny piece of cake falls from his mouth. It makes Jaemin, who's sitting closer to him, cackle. "Shut up, Nana, I'll puke on you. And it's not a big deal at all, you know. Just the thin line between being a Jaemin–– you'res still sixteen, so shut up -– _and_ the possibility of going to jail,"

"No, but really," Yuta, leaning against the window, raises his fork. "When I turned seventeen, it was life-changing. Totally not because I got drunk in secret and threw up inside my mom's favorite flower pot, though,"

"Don't give him _ideas_ ," snaps Doyoung, but everyone is too busy laughing to pay attention to his useless try on getting a hold of the situation.

When the cake and ice cream are over, and there's a pile of dirty dishes neatly organized on Taeyong's sink, courtesy of Renjun, they all make Donghyuck sit in the middle of the couch to get his gifts, blindfold and all. Jeno is a little bit nervous when Mark pushes the guitar against his chest – "You did pay for the most part of it, Jen, so it's only fair!" –, not having really talked to Donghyuck after the Spiderling situation.

But, seeing Donghyuck smiling careless like that, waiting for his gifts, it eases him down. Jeno positions himself in front of him, alongside Johnny with the three books he bought with Ten, Yuta with what looks like a shoebox and Doyoung holding what can only be a couple of vinyl. A pair of hands find their place in Jeno's shoulder, and Jaemin rests his chin on the top of his head. Renjun and Mark stand behind them as well, and Donghyuck jiggles on his spot as he hears Jaehyun say "Alright, take off the fold!".

The first thing he sees is Jeno, on his knees with a shiny, beautiful mint green guitar on his lap. There's a red ribbon wrapped around the neck of the guitar, and Donghyuck can't quite believe his eyes. "What?!", he exclaims.

Jeno doesn't really know what to say, so he just smiles, pushing the guitar in Donghyuck's direction. He takes it with shaking hands, but his eyes still don't leave Jeno.

"It's from all of us," Renjun says, God bless him. "Lele and Jisung helped too,"

"Wow," Donghyuck's gaze falls down, fingers all over the instrument. The others watch curiously, – Johnny has a big smile on his face, and Jeno knows for a fact that he's going to beg to play it anytime now –, as he plucks the chords mindlessly, only to see what it feels like. "This is totally awesome. Like, what the fuck, I can't say how thankful I am,"

"Don't worry about it," Mark says, and he motions to the others. "Like, I know ours is the best, but take a look at what these losers have for you as well,"

It earns him a slap on the back of the head from Doyoung, but the grin on Mark's face tells it was worth it. Donghyuck is laughing as he settles the guitar by his side on the couch, making grabby hands in the direction of his other gifts. "Johnny Seo, is that Lord of the Rings? _Deluxe_ edition? Oh my--"

 

The clock ticks eleven and a half when Jeno is laying on his made-up bed on the floor, one of Taeyong’s extra comforters to warm him through the night. Staying over on a school day isn’t news – his dad is pretty chill, lets him do whatever as long as Jeno goes to school the next morning –, but there’s something about hanging out at the elder’s place that makes his insides go a little crazy.

“Good night, you two,” says Taeyong, hand over the light switch. “If you need anything I’ll be right down the corridor, and don’t forget to wake me up so I can drive you to school!”

“You sound like a dad,” is what Donghyuck says, voice muffled by the comforter, only a few strands of his hair peeking out of it. “Good night, TY,”

Jeno chuckles. “Good night!”

Then the lights are off, and his phone lightens up with a text.

 

hyuckles | 23:32 | seen

sorry for speaking to u like that

yesterday at school u kno

 

lee jeno | 23:33 | seen

it’s fine

don’t sweat it hyuck

 

hyuckles | 23:33 | seen

it’s just

i was talking abt it w nana

before break??

it kind of stuck to my head

 

hyuckles | 23:34 | seen

i was a bit of an asshole

 

hyuckles | 23:34 | seen

i was just tryna tease but

got it out of hand

 

lee jeno | 23:36 | seen

again

don’t sweat

i’m not upset or something

 

lee jeno | 23:36 | seen

!!!!!

i mean it

 

hyuckles | 23:37 | seen

ugh ur so nice jenojam

spiderling sadly cant relate

 

A laugh slips right through Jeno’s lips, and he hears Donghyuck shifting in his comforter somewhere to his left.

 

lee jeno | 23:38 | seen

why are u texting me btw

im right by ur side

we could just talk

 

hyuckles | 23:38 | seen

dont wanna hear ur ugly voice

 

“That’s mean,” he whispers in the dark, and doesn’t think Donghyuck is listening until the boy’s face makes an appearance, features enlightened by the moonlight.

“I’m sorry if you can’t handle the truth, Jeno,” he says, and then goes back to under the covers.

 

hyuckles | 23:47 | seen

by the way

thx for staying here w me

 

hyuckles | 23:48 | seen

mark is an asshole and bailed out

but i’m sure he doesnt even have homework

 

lee jeno | 23:52 | seen

ikr

injun too

but its fine

i like sleeping here

 

hyuckles | 23:54 | seen

me 2

feels different from the suburbs

 

lee jeno | 23:55 | seen

must be all the traffic noise

and the pacing on the roof

 

hyuckles | 23:55 | seen

must be being 17

 

lee jeno | 23:56 | seen

must be being 17 indeed

btw

happy birthday hyuck

 

hyuckles | 23:57 | seen

u already said that tho??

 

lee jeno | 23:58 | seen

i know

but u were a baby 17yo

now u have a few hours

on being 17

u kno?

 

hyuckles | 23:59 | seen

thats the weirdest thing you ever said to me

like ever

 

lee jeno | 23:59 | seen

:>

 

hyuckles | 00:00 | seen

jeno

 

lee jeno | 00:00 | seen

donghyuck

 

hyuckles | 00:01 | seen

thank you.

 

Jeno turns on his side to tell him not to sweat it, that until something digs into his thigh. He suddenly remembers, and quickly sits up, taking his own forgotten gift for Donghyuck from inside his pocket. The latter looks up from his blanket cocoon.

"I have a gift for you. I forgot about it,' explains Jeno, motioning for the other to sit up as well.

Donghyuck obliges excitedly, shaking his phone so that the flashlight turns on. He extends a hand and Jeno pressed the bottle of nail polish against his warm palm. Donghyuck's eyebrows go all the way up behind his fringe. "How did you know I wanted this?"

"I noticed," Jeno says, simply, before lying back again.

From where he's standing now, Donghyuck's face looks a little odd with the way the light is cast on his face. Jeno feels his Spider-sense tingling for a couple seconds before it's gone, and the other smiles at him, white teeth all on display. "Thanks a lot, Jenojam!"

He chuckles.

"Quit thanking me already and go to sleep, Hyuck,"

The red-haired shakes his phone again, and they're left in the dark once more. Jeno finally dozes off to the sound of Donghyuck humming himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave a kudo and let me know what you thought!!
> 
> i'd like to thank everyone who's reading the story. if you're out there and you're taking your time to read this, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. it really means a lot to me and i hope you're enjoying it so far. but also thanks to those who left comments! is2g i read such cute stuff it made my heart hurt. thank you. thank you. thank you. i know leaving comments is kind of intimidating sometimes so i appreciate you guys for it. it really makes me so happy!!
> 
> ugh i'm emo. that was chapter 3!! things get a lot interesting from here, so look forward to the next chapter, ok?
> 
> by the way, gonna leave this here so you guys can see how i imagine spiderling: https://twitter.com/99breu/status/1023264317481922560
> 
> that's it. see you guys soon!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


	5. to come home, to be brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!
> 
> this is kind of angsty, and kind of short, but i like it anyway. i promise chapter 5 is going to be longer – i need it to be, hehe –, though!!!
> 
> i hope you guys like it. there you gooooooooo...

When August comes, it brings heat waves and a little bit of July's rains. Jeno walks around with a pocket umbrella inside his backpack alongside his favorite water bottle – ironically, it has a spiderweb design, because Donghyuck once received it as a mock gift from Chenle and proceeded to pushed it inside Jeno's locker when he wasn't looking –, and he's taken his shorts from bottom of his cabinet and gotten rid of his usual hoodies.

He likes August. August is good. Sure, it's too hot, but this means excuses to go out for ice cream and to hang out at the diner Taeil's family owns – which is what he's doing right now.

"Honestly," Mark starts, mid-bite. His pizza dangles dangerously from his careless fingers. " _Fuck_ college."

Amidst agreement cheers, Doyoung flashes him an unamused look. "You kiss your mother with that mouth, Mark?"

"I do, Doyoung, I do,"

They're fourteen in total, and surely Taeil's diner has seen calmer days because that's what you get when teenagers and not-so-teens-anymore like them bundle up to have dinner. It's family time – all pizza and pasta, cold as ice Coke bottles and a strawberry milkshake for Chenle and Johnny, because they like to share –, with them being split in two booths. It's a mess, really, it always takes them longer to decide who's sitting where than anything else, but it's the same in the end; them being happy no matter what.

This time, though, it took Yuta some time to get over the fact that he couldn't sit on the edge of the booth because he's _too_ tall, so Renjun just wouldn't let him and Jisung corner him from the rest of the world. "Get over it already," is what Sicheng and Taeyong tell him, collectively, to which Yuta only rolls his eyes. No, not to Sicheng, actually, he would never. It's all on Taeyong, and he knows it.

As for Jeno, he's sandwiched between Doyoung and Mark, so he ducks his head fast when Doyoung raises a hand to hit the back of Mark's head lightly, trying hard not to get pizza all over his face. On the other table, by their side, Ten grins excitedly and Renjun laughs at him.

"Violence is not the answer, Doie," Jaehyun chimes in, and of course Doyoung listens to him, because next thing they know he's pretending nothing happened.

Mark sighs deeply, and he takes another piece from the plate in front of Jeno. "You know," the latter starts, which makes everyone at their table collectively look at him. "You shouldn't be afraid of change. Change is good, Mark. If you keep being afraid of growing up then you won't grow up at all,"

To which Mark replies. "I know, I guess. I think I just don't know what it's like being without you guys,"

At the other side of the table, Chenle and Jaemin flash him bright smiles, and then Donghyuck lets out a strident laugh. He nudges Mark's ribs with an elbow. "You're so dramatic. You're just graduating, not dying!"

He's right. The elders engage in telling stories about their own graduations, and even Taeil takes a break from serving other tables to knee in the booth behind them and talk – how Jaehyun was prom king, and graphic depictions of the moment Johnny threw up punch all over the inside of Doyoung's car, but also hopes and dreams and insecurities and everything that comes with growing up, like a package you've never ordered but still get.

To Jeno, and most of his friends, leaving school is something that seems too far away. He still has a whole year and a half until graduation comes, still far too deep into high school drama to even think about college. But he feels it when Mark's shoulders tense up, so he sneaks his hand under the table and holds the older boy's hand because Jeno is not really good with supporting words – he leaves that part to Renjun, even to Mark himself –, so he squeezes his hand and hopes that it calms him down.

It does, because Mark squeezes his hand back. They continue sharing their pizza as the others chat.

"Alright, everyone!" says Taeil when the clock hits 23:00 and most of the other customers are gone. He holds a tray over his head and Doyoung quietly mutters "Please, don't let him fuck it up," under his breath.

"I want birthday boys to say thank you, Taeil, for everything you've done to us--"

Jaemin and Mark cackle simultaneously. One of the reasons they gathered up is to celebrate their birthdays – Mark's was in the beginning of the month, actually, and it's been some days since Jaemin's as well, but it's not like anyone would deny a celebratory dinner and cake. Somewhere to the right, Ten yells "You did _nothing_ , Moon Taeil, your mom made that cake!", but Taeil pays no attention to him and sets the tray down in front of Mark and Jaemin, who smile at each other happily.

Mark lets go of Jeno's hand when they lean in to blow out the candles, and they all eat the cake Taeil's mom made, obviously, amidst chatting and taking pictures – that's mostly Doyoung, for his instagram page is filled with pictures of his friends. And in this moment, right now and despite growing up, despite the rest of the world out there, despite the texts from Jeno's father asking why he isn't home yet, all is well.  

 

Jeno enjoys his life just like this: spending time with the people he cherishes, finding any excuse to play with Renjun's hair only to see him grimacing because of it, going to impromptu sleepovers at Johnny's because they've been doing drills in his building's old court for upcomings volleyball matches, studying with Mark because they're pretty good study buddies. That's how he spends part of his time, after all. It's almost, almost ordinary.

It's never ordinary with him. He knows it. So he pushes down the mask covering half of his face and breathes in deeply, the hot weather not making it even a little bit easy for him, and wipes off the sweat off his eyes with the back of a hand. It's never ordinary with him. He knows it. He knows it really fucking well, thank you very much.

On his phone there's an unread text from Jaemin and one from his father, despite the group chat's usual conversations. Both of them are asking where he is, but Jeno knows that one of them is unlike the other. When Jeno's father asks where he is, he's wondering if Jeno decided to stay at school to study or is at the club training, maybe having an afternoon snack at a friend's. When Jaemin asks where he is, with the question mark he uses exclusively for situations like this, he's just worried shitless.

It's around six in the afternoon. Jeno was supposed to go to Jisung's dancing presentation, but it's never ordinary with him.

He drops the backpack on the floor before sitting at the edge of a building's top. His city isn't too big, no, he knows he can cross it in a few hours, knows every single little part of it. Jeno knows, for sure, that the studio where Jisung takes dancing classes is about thirty minutes from where he is right now, but he can't go there as Spiderling, so it would take a little longer, and he's already terribly late.

 

 

> lee jeno | 18:47 | seen
> 
> i got busy
> 
> pls tell jisung i'm so sorry
> 
> i'm sure he's doing amazing
> 
>  

He watches as Jaemin comes online, reads his message and promptly ignores it, getting offline again. The group chat is silent too, the last message being Chenle wondering if he could take snacks, and Jeno thinks he deserves the cold-shoulder treatment.

With his feet dangling from the edge of the building, he stares at the phone in his hands and wonders if things would've been a little different if he had decided not to go to his father's work that day. So he unlocks his phone, opens the Twitter app that Jaemin himself made him download again, and scrolls through his timeline until he's satisfied getting a taste of other people's normal lives. Like a quick peak on what he's losing.

 

@jenojams (18:54)

:-/

  

“Mine!”

“No, mine! Damn it, Jisung!”

Jeno presses the heels of his palms to his eyes, not bothering is his contact lenses are going to bitch about it. He hates Thursdays, the way his sneakers are a little too big, and hates it when his teammates are like this.

They've been playing together for years now – some of them longer than others, of course –, and they usually do good. Sometimes, though, practice is a mess and Jeno can't put his finger on it, he just accepts it.

Their captain, on the other hand, doesn't. Jungeun knows everything. It's like that with her. As Jeno just watches it unimpressed as the ball bounces pathetically on the empty spot where either Jisung or Heejin should be receiving his toss, she sighs loudly.

“You guys,” says Jungeun, exasperated. She has her hands on her hips and Jeno knows she's pissed off, his senses doesn't have to tingle for that. “This again?”

Jisung raises his hands in defeat. "My bad. I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry, Heejin, I'll do better next time!"

But she doesn't look much amused. Jungeun fixes her high ponytail and gestures for Yeri to serve again, but a voice echoes from the side of the court and Yeri stops midway.

"Firstly," starts Ravi – his name is not actually Ravi, but he likes it that way –, their coach, and Jeno feels the storm coming by the way he taps his feet against the floor, so he just pretends to tie his shoelaces while the scold goes on. "Jisung, don't prevent Heejin from playing if you know you can't reach the ball. Greed only gets you so much before you start messing up everyone's game. She could've gotten that point easily,"

The tips of Heejin’s ears are violently pink as she nods, and Jisung doesn’t look any better. He raises a hand to fix his fringe – a habit Jeno knows he has, it calms him down –, but this time his hair is pulled back by a headband, so he just looks really lost. “Sorry!” they both say in unison.

Ravi waves it off. "This is nothing I haven't said to you before. At last, I need you all to remember you're not alone in this court. You can't play volleyball by yourself. Are we clear?"

"Yes, coach!"

Jeno gets up in time to see the beginning of a smile threatening in the corner of Ravi's lips. He knows their coach has a soft spot for all of them, so Jeno doesn't blame him when he says "By the way, Jeno, _out_. Guanheng, _in_ ." before storming off the court. Lucas, loud as ever, screeches in his ear because _ain't none of you gonna go through me now_ , _huh?_

Jeno flips him off. As the other boy takes his place, he sits on the bench and chugs down a bottle of water, and lets his mind wander a little.

You see, some kids come and go in the volleyball club, like that one Park Woojin who would stay up late doing drills with Jeno every summer but only then; and some kids look like they've been there all along and would be there for a really long time, like Felix and Jungeun, Jeno's teammates since they were little. Then you have the ones that came along the way – Yeri, who switched clubs when Jeno was fifteen; Lucas, who's good at many, many things but for some reason likes volley better; and Jisung, someone Jeno himself had convinced to play with them the year before. At last but not least, this year's additions – Heejin, with the cleanest serve their club has seen in years, and Guanheng, the guy Jeno doesn't know much about but seems pretty eager to play every time.

Ravi has him benched during the games for some time now because he's new, didn't play volleyball before coming to the club. Lucas guarantees he's going to shine some day, but Guanheng doesn't make a fuss out of it. He's the one that films their practices and posts them on the team's snapchat account ("Hey everyone, it's your boy, Hendery--" "Stop calling yourself that!"). But he's good, really good. Jeno hopes that they can hang out soon.

Coach's whistle pierces through his ears. Jeno watches it as his teammates start a new match without further discussion, except for Jungeun's desperate tries to make Lucas shut up. Ravi benches him after three minutes, a record, motioning for Felix to go in, so Jeno spends the rest of practice denying Lucas' plees for Mark Lee's number.

"Ask him yourself, dude," he says when the whistle goes off again and practice is over. "It's not like he's going to say no,"

"It's the element of surprise, Jeno Lee! I already have the perfect meme to send him,"

Jeno ponders for a second, then shrugs. "Mark doesn't understand memes, I'm sorry, Lucas-- hey, Heejin! Do you wanna do some drills before practice next week?"

The girl, who had seemed a little off for the rest of practice, now nods excitedly. She adjusts the backpack on her shoulders and says, "Absolutely!".

By his side, Lucas sighs in defeat, and he fails even to snatch Jeno's phone when he gives him a ride home. Usually, Jeno wouldn't be so mean, but he thinks it's satisfying to see the other boy pouting like that. They've known each other for some time now and it's not like his crush on Mark is a secret, but Jeno still likes to tease.

"I mean it, bro," he says, leaning over the car window after getting out. "Just ask him. Mark's a little dense when it comes to this kind of thing, he needs your straightforwardness."

"Yeah, I guess. Uh, look," Lucas shrugs. Then, he reaches under the passenger seat, pulls something from the floor and hands it to him. "I think you dropped this, what is it?"

Jeno's heart sinks to the floor. He snatches the clothing – his mask, the motherfucking mask which he must've dropped while tucking his practice shoes inside the bag – from the elder's hand and tucks it safely in his back pocket. "Ah, it's nothing. Thanks for the ride, bro! I'll see you at school later!"

 

To say Jeno feels a little off is an understatement.

When the car takes a left and disappears from his view, Jeno lets himself breathe again. His hand is frozen on the doorknob and Bongshik bumps her head against his calf softly, but something in his chest still hurts a little.

He knows Lucas didn't see it properly – the light was too dim, hell, he surely wasn't even paying attention to it –, but Jeno's still painfully aware of how careless he was. In fact, if Lucas hadn't seen it at that moment, he'd find out about it later and wonder why Spiderling's mask was inside his car – then he'd either come to the conclusion that Jeno is, indeed, Spiderling, or his creative mind would come up with another reason for Jeno to walk around with something like that inside his backpack.

The thought puts him at ease at the same time that it freaks him out. Jeno feels sick. No other word for it.

He detaches the hand from the doorknob and scratches Bongshik behind the ear slightly before taking his shoes off and goes upstairs. His father isn't home yet – he's been staying at the lab until ungodly hours lately, coming home when Jeno is already asleep. The boy doesn't like it, no, has never liked it when his father overworks himself, but right now it looks pretty convenient because Jeno feels tears rolling down his cheeks as soon as he opens up the door to his bedroom.

"Oh, God," he says, kicking off his – Johnny's – practice sneakers, not really caring if they end uo all around the room. " _Shit_ , fuck, what the--"

The thing about his Spider-sense is that Jeno has become quite… Sensitive. In many ways. He can catch flies without looking, sure, and his reflexes are so good that he actually has to tune it down when playing because it would be unfair with the others – but also sensitive in the way that he notices _too much_. So, yeah, he's crying, and Jeno hates it when he cries because suddenly he's acutely aware of the tears on his cheeks, acutely aware of his lip trembling, acutely aware of the sounds he makes.

His phone, thrown over the pillow, lights up with a message and a little _ping,_  and he knows that it's just his father talking about coming home late. Jeno curses it at the same time he cherishes it – must be being a teenager, must be being a superhero, how he tiptoes around dealing with himself alone or actually asking for help.

But he's been at it for too long now, so Jeno ignores the increasing pain in his chest and forces himself to take a shower. _It's not like he knows anything_ , his mirror-self tells him, when the mirror is too foggy and all he sees is the vague idea of himself. _It's all good, all normal_.

"Shut the fuck up, Spiderling," Jeno replies, wiping furiously the wetness in his eyes. "It's not like you know anything about being nor--"

This time the phone rings, and he feels like his soul is actually leaving his body, so startled that the slippery floor would be an actual threat if not for his senses. Jeno doesn't know the last time he genuinely tripped over something – and for a moment he hates thinking about it, but it's done, he ain't thinking about Spiderling no more, not for today.

He swears on it. Swears on Bongshik. He threw the suit carelessly inside a drawer for good measure, isn't planning on getting near it anytime soon.

"Jeno? It's Hyuck,"

"Oh, hey. What's up?"

Sitting on his bed, Jeno plays with the hem of his dad's old shirt – he stole it quite some time ago –, which is slowly falling apart. On the other side of the line, Donghyuck clears his throat and says: "DoyouwannadothatHistoryessaywithmeyesorno,"

"What?"

This time, he takes a deep breath. "Do you wanna do that History essay with me, yes or no?"

"Uh. Yes?" Jeno chuckles. "Is that why you called? Couldn't have texted me?"

"I called because-- we kinda miss you. You weren't there yesterday and you didn't show up at school, so, was making sure whether you're alive or not," after a pause, he hears Donghyuck clearing his throat again. "Jisung nailed it yesterday."

"I know. Well, I figured, he always does. I hope he doesn't hate me too much…"

The other scoffs. "Jeno, what? Jisung doesn't hate you. Nobody does. What are you on about?"

Jeno curses himself to hell and back as he listens to the sound of Donghyuck breathing. It reminds him to breathe as well, but he doesn't reply. "Jeno?"

"Tough day," he replies, simply. "Really tough day, Hyuck,"

"Oh."

There are few situations in which Jeno finds himself nervous next to Lee Donghyuck. When he talks about Spiderling and Jeno has this sick, hard-to-swallow fear that he somehow knows. When they're sitting next to each other in class and Donghyuck's elbow bumps into his, and he looks at him like he wants to say something and Jeno is there, waiting for it, but it never comes. When they're taking the bus back from Mark's house together and Donghyuck is falling asleep on his seat, the way his head tilts and Jeno says "I don't mint it, you know," but he's stubborn, he'd never lean against Jeno like that.

They're kind of like that, Jeno thinks. There and not there at the very same time. So he feels his heart beating loud in his ears, wonders if he should've just sucked it up, thinks that Donghyuck doesn't even care at all, waits for something that tells him he doesn't.

Then it comes, but not like that. "-- 10 minutes,"

"Uh?"

"I said," Donghyuck sighs. "Meet me in that playground near your house in 10 minutes. And bring your wallet,"

Just like that, the call is over. Jeno is left staring at the screen of his phone, thumb poking at the crack from that time he dropped it from Renjun's window. He sighs to himself: "What the fuck,"

And then he proceeds to change out of his pyjamas.

 

"I don't like it when you vanish," is what Donghyuck tells him when he's high up on the seesaw, lazily licking his cheap ice cream cone.

A part of Jeno wants to tell him: _me neither_ , or _I won't anymore_ , or _life be like that sometimes_ , or ask _him why do you care_. Instead, he pushes himself up, up, up, and Donghyuck holds himself in the ground as Jeno's legs swing back and forth in the air. "I'm sorry," is what he tells him, at last.

The other boy does not look much convinced, but Jeno figures that he's not that unpleased if he's hanging out with him in the old playground, the one which is equidistant from their houses, the one they all used to hang out in as kids. "Nobody fucking hates you, Jeno. I need you to understand that,"

Donghyuck pushes himself up, this time, and continues. "I don't know what goes on with you most times-- believe me, I've been trying, but you have quite a hard shell to crack--, but even I think that you have too much of whatever it is going on,"

A teasing smile makes its way to Jeno's lips. At the sight of it, Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but Jeno says it anyway. "You've trying to get to know me better?"

"Absolutely not the point. You're not Atlas, Jenojam. You can take that weight out of your shoulders if you want,"

"Oh," he replies, eloquently.

Donghyuck finishes his ice cream, licks his thumb and then points at him. "Don't "oh" me, boy. We've been worried. I claimed myself as the messenger, Mark helped me come up with the speech."

At the thought of his friends thinking about what to say to him, Jeno cackles. It makes Donghyuck giggle as well. "I mean--" he says, mid-laugh. "Atlas, really? I hate Mark sometimes. But I think it suits you. I wish it didn't, though."

"It's alright," Jeno replies. "I mean, it isn't but… It'll get better. I think. At least I have you guys."

Under the lights of the street lamps nearby, Donghyuck's hair glows in some kind of wicked way, resembling fire. The corners of his mouth go up, up, up, until he's smiling widely at Jeno's words. He leans forward on the seesaw's bar and for a split second Jeno thinks, _he's going to fall_ , but he doesn't, it's never that ordinary with Donghyuck. "You bet," he starts, feet on the ground. Jeno looks down at him in expectancy, he knows what's coming. "I do?"

"You have us, Jenojam. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to let me know what you thought!
> 
> fun fact: jeno's volleyball team? i actually dreamed about it. here's the line up – jungeun (captain, wing spiker), yeri (wing spiker), felix (libero), lucas (middle blocker), jeno (setter), hendery (setter), heejin (opposite hitter), jisung (opposite hitter). i love them.
> 
> by the way, thanks a lot for the comments in the last chapters. they mean a lot to me!!! you guys are the sweetest. really, thank you so much for reading this. uwu
> 
> uuuhhhh that's it i think? see y'all next time!!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


	6. if you see me swaying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm alive??? despite all odds???
> 
> so, the past few weeks have been a little crazy around here in brazil and you know the reason if you follow me on twitter, so that's why it took me so much to update. on top of that, i had some personal stuff to take care of and it really messed up with me but?? i guess it's better now. and i'm here! with an update! a long one this time! 
> 
> i'm REALLY sorry for the delay, everyone. i hope you guys are still with me because i really liked writing this chapter! not to give spoilers but we'll be seeing something really important for nohyuck's plot today hehe now go read, you! 
> 
> also, MASSIVE thank you to tessie for being the beta reader for this chapter and everything else i write. i'd be lost without you. uwu 
> 
> also, massive thank you to everyone who took their time to write cute as shit comments in the past chapters. and to the ones who didn't but left kudos! i feel the urge to say this every time bc i can never tell how much grateful i am for it. thank you. thank you. thank you for reading. aaaaah!! 
> 
> (the title of this chapter comes from bobby's runaway. the whole quote is "if you see my swaying, please take me away, far away." and i love this song; it's in the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/7kqXmLHQz6SK57WAe17XkN?si=pnBMO69SQ4m5YXqed7c6LA) so yeah take a listen if you want to)

“I think it’s so nice that you enjoy doing so many different things. I wish I had done that instead of sticking to soccer and Engineering!”

Jeno lets out a laugh that sounds like he’s choking – partially because he feels guilty, thinking about what Donghyuck had said to him in a late night in August, and partially because he didn’t expect to have this conversation at this moment –, but when Jungwoo’s hand comes up to pat his back sympathetically, he brushes it off.

“I’m fine,” he says. “But, hey, soccer is really nice! And this--” he points at the little bag secure in his hands. “This is amazing, Jungwoo. And I told you, I can and am willing to pay for it,”

“What! Cut it, Lee Jeno,” Jungwoo replies because he’s Jungwoo and he's an angel. “It was a pleasure. You can pay me by inviting me to your play by the end of the year,”

When he says it like that, Jeno is almost convinced by his own lie.

He’s been doing it a lot lately. Lying, you see. And it disgusts him, how easy it is to find his way out of everything with just a twist of words, how easy it is to get away with anything with just a twist of words. Skipping some volleyball practices because he has an internship at his dad's work now, except it's been months since the last time he went to the lab and uses that time to catch up on his studies so that he can go out at night; and then going out for late night Spidey duties with the excuse he'll be studying at Jaemin's, later on crashing on the latter's floor because he doesn't want to go home with bruises.

And, the most recent one: tricking the Engineering genius that plays soccer at the club into making him a gadget for Spiderling, a voice changer that will lower the chances of him getting recognized by someone, by saying he needed it for a school play. He hasn't been to drama club in ages, but Kim Jungwoo doesn't know about that and he's always willing to help anyone.   

Jeno doesn’t take pride in lying. It tires him. It tires him to lie to his dad, lie to his friends, lie to people like Jungwoo who don't have anything to do with his life as a superhero and, still, Jeno managed to get him into his web.

Tired. He's tired. But he swallows it up and says, “I will, dude,” he replies. “Thanks again for the gadget. It’ll be very useful!”.

See, Jungwoo is a dude who graduated two years before Jeno, and he doesn’t really remember seeing him around school because Jeno had better things to do, such as learn how to be a superhero, but he hears about Jungwoo to this day. He’s really pretty, really smart, plays soccer at the club where Jeno plays volleyball, speaks super softly and studies Engineering at the local university. Jeno doesn’t know which major it is exactly, he just heard Jungwoo’s pretty good and building up things, so that’s why he managed to get some help improving his… Suit.

Because the little bag in his hands contains the solution to most of Jeno’s problems. He didn’t know such thing could exist outside comic books like Green Arrow – then remembered his own existence is some kind of a joke, so never lose hope –, but when he casually mentioned to Jungwoo that his play at school needed a device that changed people’s voice, bless Jungwoo’s little heart for suggesting that he could build it.

And now, he does what he does best: tucks the gadget carefully into his bag alongside his practice clothes, thanks Jungwoo one last time and changes the subject smoothly, because there’s only so much lying he can take daily before he starts being mad at himself in public. He can do it at home, alone, with Bongshik to hear his problems and maybe console his frustrated cries.

Hormones, he's heard his father say, are quite wild when you're Jeno's age. But he doesn't know anything about being a superhero, so Jeno agrees with a nod every time.

“Do you take the bus home?” Jungwoo asks as they leave the main building, swinging a bag containing his cleats back and forth in hand. “Cause, depending on where you live, I think my roommate can give you a ride!”

“Oh, really? I live like, 15 minutes from here, near the new metro station--”

“Jeno?”

They’ve reached the curb. Jeno tilts his head curiously at a familiar face, a smile coming through his lips. “Kun, what the hell?”

He hasn't seen Qian Kun in _ages_ , because his internship with Jeno's dad had lasted for about a year and a half and even then Jeno didn't see him quite frequently. So he hugs the older man tightly, asks him how he's been doing, assures him he's not messing up with his father's work anymore – when Jeno says it, he wants to laugh at the irony –, and then he finds himself sitting at the backseat of Kun's car.

"So, you guys are roommates!" he says. "Where did you find this guy, Jungwoo?"

The latter shrugs, turns himself in the passenger seat so that he can look back at Jeno. "Well, we've been roommates since he got into my uni. But Kun's never told me about knowing you!"

"Well, how could I?" Kun chimes in. "I didn't know that _you guys_ knew each other. Not that it's a surprise, though, this city's as mall as an egg!"

The three of them laugh, and then Jeno discovers that Kun decided to come back to their city a year after his exchange program was over, continuing his major in Pharmacy in the local university. He became Jungwoo's roommate then. By the time they reach Jeno's curb, he's convinced Kun to come in and greet his dad, and Jungwoo tags along as well.

Even if they don't stay for more than a cup of coffee – multiple essays await in the dorms –, Jeno likes it how his dad's face lightens up while catching up with Kun. He's always liked his intern a lot, and makes sure the young man doesn't leave without confirming that his email is the same, so his dad can maybe help him find another internship or a job in the area.

As for Jungwoo, he loved Jeno's cat and his dad's orange cake. He left with the promise of coming back to see Bongshik some day and a generous amount of cake, the bag carefully tuck in his backpack.

"Ah, they're great," Sieon says, as they watch the car turning a left on the corner. "I adore your friends. You should invite them over more."

"The last time I did that, you crashed the party and spent a whole hour telling dad jokes," Jeno points out. "Only Taeyong and Johnny found them funny, which is no achievement at all, and everyone else just laughed to make you happy.

His dad shakes his head, motioning for him to go inside. "You're so mean to me, I should take those two as my sons and ship you off to your great-aunt."

"She wouldn't even let me stay, she thinks I do pot and am the spawn of the devil."

There's no counterargument for that. His dad shrugs. "She never liked me too, for the same reasons. Now go and take a bath, you're making me help dinner today."

Jeno grabs his backpack from where he dropped it on the lawn and makes his way upstairs happily, with Bongshik on his heels.

 

A couple days later, after the last of his tiring finals, Jeno gets a call from Mark.

He likes that. Calling. Jeno has no idea why, since texting is way better, but every time he mentions it, Mark starts talking about the importance of hearing people's voices in the postmodernity, and soon enough he'll be talking about time-space compression and Jeno gets _tired_ of hearing about David Harvey sometimes.

Mark should get back to reading fiction. Or maybe find himself a boyfriend who's a communist. Jeno answers the call with a sigh. "Why can't you text me like a normal teenager, Mark Lee?"

" _Did you know_ that the concept of teenager is a product of modernity--"

Jeno hangs up. He waits exactly three seconds until Mark calls again, and then the elder is giggling through the phone. "Do you wanna go to Chenle's together, No Jam?"

"Are you gonna rant all the way through?" he teases.

"No."

"I'm not convinced."

"I can't promise you shit, I'm getting to your house in 10. Bye!"

 

The first thing Jeno asks after locking the door to his house is "since when are you a blonde, Mark Lee?"

“I’m going through a process,” Mark tells him, as he throws the skateboard to the ground. He was waiting at the curb when Jeno left to meet him.

“What process?”

“Finding myself. _In the postmodernity, Jeno._ "

With steady hands on the handlebars of his bike, Jeno looks over at him and shakes his head. “You’re eighteen, dude, you’re good. How does that has to do with dying your hair?”

“I don’t know. Changbin suggested it. And Lucas said I look cute, so it’s a win-win situation.”

“Of _course_. I wonder when you guys are gonna stop tiptoeing around each other and actually get together.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jenojam.”

Jeno drops the act because he doesn’t care that much about teenage drama, but he still wiggles his brows teasingly at the other. If Mark loses balance on the skateboard and almost gets them both to fall on the street, it’s a secret between them both. But, dude, Mark’s a goner. He just doesn’t know about it yet.

The rest of the way over to Chenle’s is quick and smooth, only a stop on a convenience store nearby to get drinks because _yall my mom’s on a detox juice phase pls bring drinks asap thx_ , and soon enough Jeno is sitting on one of the benches in the backyard alongside Jaemin. Despite the absurd weather and how Jeno can feel the back of his shirt sticking to his skin, he doesn’t shy away from the touch when the other leans in to rest his head on his shoulder.

“Took you long enough, huh? You lost Donghyuck falling belly-first into the pool and bitching ‘bout it for half an hour,” says the pink-haired boy, to which Jeno giggles. “It was painful to my ears. Wanna share an ice tea?”

“Sure!”

Heat waves mean pool time, which usually means staying at Chenle’s because his pool is nicer than the one in Mark’s or Jaemin’s apartment block, and also because they don’t have to deal with other people wanting to swim too. That’s a lazy Saturday morning, with high-pitched screams and too much sunscreen, Renjun with his face hidden behind a book and lying under the shadow of the nice tree in Chenle’s backyard, Jisung trying to skateboard over the surface of the water and the others casually chilling in the pool and trying not to let themselves get killed. The usual.

When Jaemin mentioned it over text, the day before, Jeno got _nervous_. They had been talking a lot about everything in the past few days, because Jaemin’s the only one that knows about his secret and this means being the only one who actually understands it – although, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t get mad or scared about it, and perhaps this only makes Jeno feel more uneasy, but he knows to bottle things up does him no good.

He still doesn't know how to act since the day of Jisung's presentation, but he's been trying hard to hang out more with his friends. Still, he doesn't do it as often as he used to, and he misses it – going out, having fun, pretending he's not a superhero and all.

Jeno misses it so much that he doesn't know what to do with it, with that longing. So he sits at the edge of the pool with his hands on his lap and watches, happily, as his friends make fools out of themselves with all the playing and the fighting and screaming. He likes that, taking in all of that energy, it reminds him that there's a whole other life in which Spiderling is just a name.

Noticing his absence in their favorite activity – trying to drown Mark –, Donghyuck swims his way to where Jeno is sitting and props himself up the edge with his elbows. “Hey, big head,” he says, wet red hair sticking to his face. “A penny for your thoughts.”

“You look like Carrie,” is what Jeno replies, one finger coming up to flick a lonely red-ish drop of water from Donghyuck’s chin. “Did you dye your hair again?”

Donghyuck’s cheeks flush a red so bright that they could easily compete with his hair, but it must be the aftermath of a cloudless day. Jeno is sure he hasn’t put sunscreen on his face besides Mark’s attempts on getting all of them safe and good under the scorching sun.

“It was starting to fade. Why don’t you come swim with us?” Donghyuck replies, then grins teasingly. “Afraid I’m going to out-swim you?”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “ _As if._ ”

See, Jeno has never been one to be competitive. Most people at school assume he does so many extracurricular activities because he’s a show-off or just ambitious, but Jeno _just enjoys doing things_. He loves volleyball now, loved debate club in 8th grade, loved theater classes during summer between 5th and 7th, he even had fun that one time in the local Mathematical Olympiad when Hina, a girl from his class, got sick and he had to cover for her. It’s not like he’s good at all of that, but he knows how to do a little bit of everything.

But _this_ , this is different. This is Donghyuck pulling him into the water with the promise that he’ll kick his ass, and Jeno can’t feed his ego like that. So they race from one edge of the pool to the other, non-stop, ever creating new challenges (“I bet you can’t hold your head underwater until you reach the other side,” “If you take your hand off the floor you lose!”) and swimming their thoughts away. By the time Donghyuck props himself up the edge again, panting, there’s chattering going around about what they’re getting for lunch.

Jeno leans against the cool wall by side, fakes being tired for a while because this is nothing compared to what he does as Spiderling but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that. He nudges the red haired’s ribs with an elbow, which earns him a scowl. “Are you tired, Donghyuckie? I thought you were half-mermaid or something, ready to out-swim me?”

Donghyuck scoffs, getting back on the pool only to spit a mouthful of water on Jeno’s face. “I am, big head. I just swam a lot before you and Mark got here.”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, dude.”

Donghyuck’s hands immediately fly to his head and shoulder, and the boy pushes Jeno underwater until he’s left with no other option than to go and try kick his way out of it. When Jeno emerges, the other’s laughter is so loud that he’d probably hear it underwater if he wasn’t so focused on not drowning. “You’re pure, absolute evil, Lee Donghyuck."

“ _Tell him something he doesn’t know!_ ” chimes in Mark, looking down at them by the side of the pool. When Donghyuck splashes water on his legs, he scowls. “Anyway, you two down for some hot dogs? Renjun refuses to cook something nice so I thought about going to the store to get the stuff,”

They both nod. As Mark and Jisung (he lost a bed to Jaemin) get ready to leave, Renjun drapes a dry towel on Jeno’s shoulders and throws one at Donghyuck, who mutters “This is an absurd, blatant favoritism.” before going inside.

Renjun turns to him with a smile. “Did you have fun with Donghyuck?”

“Uh?” Jeno stops drying off legs. He shrugs. “Of course. Did you have fun with your book?”

“ _Of course_ ,” Renjun mimics. He takes the towel from Jeno’s hands and puts it over his head, attempting to dry his hair. ”I’m glad you came here today. Donghyuck is, too. He wouldn’t stop blabbering about it.”

Jeno wants to say _I know, he sent me some texts yesterday_ , but for some reason he doesn’t feel like letting Renjun know that, so he just nods. At that, Renjun lets out a tiny sigh, lets the towel fall over Jeno’s shoulders again. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

It doesn’t take long for Mark and Jisung to return with the ingredients for their lunch, and soon enough they’re all sitting by the isle on the kitchen setting up hot dogs and drinking iced tea – Mark _tries_ the infamous detox juice that Chenle’s mom made, because he’s polite, but then it is left forgotten on the countertop.

“I don’t get how you can not like ketchup,” comments Chenle at some point, leaning over the isle to snatch the condiment out of Donghyuck’s hands, who practically snarls at him but lets go of it anyway. “I thought Canadians liked that kind of stuff.”

By Jaemin’s side, Mark sighs. “And how does being Canadian relate to liking ketchup, Lele?”

“Well I _don’t know_ \--”

“Shut up, Chenle,” deadpans Jisung, and that earns him a slap on the back of his head from Renjun, who doesn’t look much amused by the outcome of the talk.

Jeno snorts over his glass of iced tea, knowing that soon enough Jisung is going to start whining and then Chenle will start whining as well because they’re just like that.

“You shouldn’t talk to each other like that,” starts Mark. By his side, Jaemin nods in agreement, but he looks far more interested in the hot dog in his hands. “Being rude is bad for the health,”

Chenle and Jisung, forgetting all about bickering, look at each other before turning to the elder and saying “You sound like my mom,”. It only makes Mark sigh in defeat, leaning back on the stool to watch the conversation go.

“I mean,” continues Jisung, putting down his glass of juice. “My mom is all about that kindness brings kindness stuff, she _hates_ conflict for real.”

“ _My_ mom is the total opposite,” chimes in Jaemin, for once putting down his hot dog. He cleans his hand on Mark’s thigh, who groans loudly. “We fight all the time over the most useless things. It’s so annoying!”

Renjun tilts his head. “Mine’s not that bad, but she tends to bottle things up and then just explode sometimes. My dad is like that too, maybe that’s why they got divorced.”

“Uh, don’t even get me started, my dad and his new fianceé…”

When Jeno looks down at his half-eaten hot dog, it doesn’t look as appetizing as before. It’s not like he has to try hard to avoid thinking about his own mom, he just doesn’t do that most times. It’s been too long, long enough for him to not remember how her voice sounds and stuff like that. Jeno doesn’t care. He truly doesn’t. But right now he wishes his friends were talking about something else, _anything_ else, and then he notices he’s not the one wishing that.

If he stops to think about it, he’ll see it coming, either by his Spidersense tingling or by the way Donghyuck’s hand grip the edge of the counter with a little too much force, but Jeno misses it with the split second in which he’s distracted by Jisung’s whine about his parents apparently not letting him do anything.

“Ya know,” Donghyuck says, and his voice is part acid part hurt, it makes Mark freeze on the other side of the room because he’d known that tone everywhere, and Jeno feels sick by it all. “You guys are funny. I’d choose fighting with my parents over anything cause it’s not even funny not having them around.”

The air that settles is heavy, filled with that kind of feeling you get when you say something you shouldn’t have. But there is not going back for this kind of thing, you can’t erase the words said out loud, so the silence stretches painfully until Renjun puts his hands on the countertop and says “I’m sorry, Hyuck, I didn’t think about it.”

The worst thing about it, Jeno thinks, is that Donghyuck doesn’t even scoff like he usually would. He shrugs, picks up his hot dog again and chews a bite lazily before saying. “I‘m not the only one you should apologize for.”

 

By nightfall, while Jeno’s dad is slicking up his back with aloe vera gel because of course he forgot about sunscreen all day, he gets two texts.

The first one is from Donghyuck, and Jeno is looking at their private chat when it arrives, and it goes a little like this:

 

hyuckles | 19:45

im sorry i dragged you into my shit it’s just that youre the only one closest to everything but we never talked about this kind of stuff i wasn’t thinking abt it right n when i got hime home* mark texted me i tjink he texted u too?? and i wa s sosososo mad at mysrlf and everything and :( anyway. im sorry for makign everything awkwsrd im going to delete this ha bye jenojam

 

And when Jeno has just finished reading it, the message is deleted from his phone. Donghyuck goes offline and he doesn’t know what to say, feels like the air has been punched out of his lungs and all that stinging surely doesn’t come from the sunburn on his back.

The other text is from Mark, from a little earlier, and of course it's Mark of all of them because he’s always been better with words:

 

markos | 18:21 | seen

we’re all sorry about what happened earlier, jen. i know nothing can make up for it but everyone does tend to think inside their little bubble without thinking abt others. i guess acknowledging it is a good step forward, but a better one might be apologising for it. i hope ur good, dude. we love u & we love hyuckie too. sorry abt it again.

 

When Jeno talks about it with his dad, because they talk about everything – as long as everything doesn’t mean Spiderling –, he’s thinking that maybe it’s not that deep as Donghyuck and Mark made it up to be until one of his father’s (now dry) hands comes up to the top of his head and muffles his hair. “Do you think it’s not that deep because you don’t want to be affected by it like your friend was, or because you truly do not care?” Sieon asks. “Because either is fine. What isn’t fine is fooling yourself into an answer that seems easier for you.”

Jeno pouts. “When did you quit science to become a philosopher?”

His dad laughs.

“Not a philosopher, just your dad.”

They stand there, sitting in Jeno’s bed as he thinks it through, and the aloe vera feels too cold on his skin because of the AC, and his father’s words are echoing in his mind as well as Mark’s as well as Donghyuck’s as well as everyone else’s. So at some point Jeno looks up at his dad and says: “I don’t know how to feel about this kind of thing and it weirds me out because I'm not exactly like Hyuck, you know? His mom may be away most of the time but she always… Comes back. Like mine didn't. You know?”

His dad tilts his dead, and Jeno knows that his kind of matter upsets him too. Before he can say anything else, Sieon starts: “You’re just a teenager. It's alright if you don't know how to feel about this thing. Your friend probably doesn't either, he just has his own way to deal with it. And it's alright if you don't want to deal with it either, ok?”

Jeno smiles a little. "Alright."

After Sieon leaves to start making dinner, Jeno lets the talk sink in. He wants to deal with it, but he's going to have to learn how first. So he picks up his phone and texts Donghyuck.

 

lee jeno | 19:57 | seen

hey hyuck

all is good, alright?

 

lee jeno | 19:59 | seen

do you wanna come over

tomorrow

to see a movie or smth?

:~)

 

hyuckles | 20:12 | seen

hey jenojam

 

hyuckles | 20:12 | seen

i cant

sorry

 

lee jeno | 20:13 | unread

maybe another day?

i mean if u want to

 

lee jeno | 20:36 | unread

hyuck?

 

lee jeno | 20:57 | unread

well

just lmk

take care, hyuck

 

To say Donghyuck has been avoiding them is an understatement.

It begins with very little things, like him spending the entire afternoon at drama club when they should be gathering at Taeil’s diner with the older guys. Like grouping up with Felix to work on his Math sheet when he always does it with Jeno, or not replying to any of the texts in their group chat even when Mark sends bad memes that deserve a call out.

Renjun is the first to point it out, when Jeno and him are sitting out of P. E. - because Jeno plays volleyball and last time that Renjun played dodgeball he ended up punching a guy, so he’s benched for a while and is not happy about it -, he nudges Jeno with an elbow and says “Don’t you find it strange how Hyuck isn’t all over us like he usually is?”

“Maybe he realized Mark is allergic to PDA,” Jeno replies, his eyes following the ball being thrown from one side of the gymnasium to the other. “Damn, Seungmin could’ve gotten that shot easily--”

The older boy rolls his eyes so hard that it probably hurts. Jeno sighs, turning to him. “Maybe he’s just not in the mood, Injun. Donghyuck can’t be a sap… Or the devil… All the time, you know,”

“I know, but it’s just strange. I thought he’d snap out of it but he’s just… Distant. Even Mark has said it and they spend every day of their lives together since, like, middle school.”

Jeno nods, then leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I think he’s good. Just give him some time.”

Except time is given, and the next thing Jeno knows is them not meeting before class like they’ve been doing for ages. Jeno stands by the school’s gates until the security asks him to go to class, and he has to run all the way to the Chemistry labs by the other side of school grounds. It’s been a week since what happened at Chenle’s now, and Donghyuck is still weird, and Jeno doesn’t see him until third period on Monday, in Literature, but the red haired is sitting with Felix and looks far too interested in the conversation to notice Jeno trying to catch his attention. They don’t talk in the next class either, because Jeno knows his History teacher is keen on taking students’ phones so he doesn’t try reaching out by text.

Not that Donghyuck would answer him, anyway. That’s not his type, not when he’s pulling something like this. He enjoys dragging it out.

Renjun looks exhausted, a little pissed off, but mostly worried. He’s sitting with Jeno in Math and copying his homework. “Hyuck totally ignored Jaemin earlier in Chem and he almost cried. Jaemin, I mean,” he whispers, and Jeno ducks his head to listen better. “This is my only class with him so I haven’t seen him all day, but at this point I think he’s either being a bitch for the sake of it or we ended up hurting him more than we thought.”

Jeno doesn’t think Donghyuck is being a bitch because he hates being alone. He’d find another way to get under their skin, ignoring them wouldn’t ever be an option. There’s this strange feeling on Jeno’s guts, far worse than his Spidersense, that makes it hard for him to swallow. “I’m worried, Injun.”

Renjun pushes the notepad on his direction, lips pursed in a thin line. “Me too. Why don’t you try talking to him? Personally?”

“Me? Why _me_?”

“Why _not_ you?”

Jeno shrugs. He doesn’t know why the feeling of confronting Donghyuck weirds him out - perhaps he’s afraid they’ll fight, perhaps he’s afraid he’s only going to upset him more. But with the way Renjun’s eyes ask him, pretty please with a cherry on top, Jeno can’t say no.

“Alright,” he replies. “I’ll do it.”

 

“Hey,” Jeno reaches out, his fingers only a breath away from the sleeve of Donghyuck’s shirt in an empty corridor during bathroom break.

“Hey,” Donghyuck replies, and he has a notepad dangling dangerously from his own fingers, with spare doodles poking out from the pages. “Hey, big head.”

“Can we talk?”

Jeno knows the answer already, by the way Donghyuck takes a step back and away from him, by the ringing of the bell and the need of both of them to get back to class. Still, he waits for it.

“Not now, Jeno. Sorry.”

Pause. Students start to leave class, filling the corridor.

“No pressure, dude.”

 

It’s a Thursday without afternoon classes when Jeno wakes up from a nap to his dad saying “Donghyuck was here.”

“ _Was?_ ” Jeno shrieks, throwing the covers aside. “Dad! Why didn’t you wake me?”

His dad shrugs, “He told me he was in a hurry. Said this is for you.” and then he drops a bag on top of Jeno’s bed. When the boy takes a look at it, it’s filled to the brim with CD's – _all_ of Donghyuck’s albums, from his kpop stash to classic rock and even the Michael Jackson vinyls.

And that’s exactly when Jeno notices what’s going on.

“I have to go,” he tells his dad, getting up from the bed and reaching out for his backpack, not bothering on changing clothes since he slept with the ones he went to school with. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Are you going after him? Is everything alright, son?”

Jeno slides into his shoes and shoots up a look at his father, who’s watching him with attention, still holding onto the box. “It’s fine, dad,” he answers. “Is it okay if I go?”

His dead smiles, a little confusedly. “Of course it is, son. Just be back before dinner!”

Jeno smiles back at him and nods, then he’s darting out of the room in a heartbeat.

 

Before he finishes changing into his suit in a corner somewhere, Jeno texts Jaemin with urgency, typing furiously in his phone because he didn’t want to run out of time, and God bless his best friend because he not only read the texts but also puts him in a video call.

“Jen Jen,” he says. “What’s up?”

“Donghyuck is running the fuck away,” Jeno deadpans, and the other’s chin drops at the spot. “He left me his CD's. All of them, including MJ. He's _leaving_."

Even though the video is pixelated, he can see the look on Jaemin’s face before the latter pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, asking if he’s sure, to which Jeno replies with an exasperated _yes_. Then, Jaemin asks, “What the hell do we do?”

“Go after him,” says Jeno, but he continues before Jaemin says something. “I’m gonna find him. As Spiderling. You call the others but I need you to back me up and say that you reached to Spiderling if any of them asks.”

Jaemin breathes out. “Alright. But why don’t we call the police first? He could be anywhere, Jeno. What if you can’t find him?

He hooks a finger in the mask hanging on his neck, pulls it so the other can see. “Then I’m done being a hero if I can’t even find a friend of mine.”

 

As he makes his way through the city, dangling from tower cranes with his web and climbing up the buildings, Jeno wonders if Donghyuck thinks he’s stupid.

He remembers it quite well, you see. “ _This is my biggest treasure, ever!_ ” is what a 12 year old Donghyuck told him one night when he stayed over, pointing at the few albums he had displayed on the shelf above his bed, carefully organized by artist and year. The collection grew with time, became quite big and diverse – from Michael Jackson's vinyl records to his enormous stash of girl group albums, The Stone Roses and other and other rock bands, and then many others that Jeno still doesn't know.

With the way Donghyuck stood in his bed that one time, hands on his hips and smiling proudly at his belongings, Jeno didn't doubt his words for a second. Every time he came over to Donghyuck's, the collection was bigger and bigger.

He wouldn't ever let them go that easily. Jeno _knows_ the albums mean a lot to him, that's why he thinks about all the possible places Donghyuck could be at this point. He's checked the bus station, asked for any red-haired boy that could've possibly bought a ticket somewhere, but all he got was no for an answer – which was good, but also left him equally helpless. 

Jeno fishes out the phone from his front pocket and goes through his messages. 

 

group chat: communism will prevail (103 messages)

 

lele | 20:22

donghyuck where the FUCK is u my dude

 

markos | 20:23

yall i’m with my brother by car

we went back to hyuck’s house bc what if he got back

but no sight of him

 

injun | 20:24 pm

we should call the POLICE

 

markos | 20:25 pm

donghyuck hates the police

 

pwark jay jay | 20:25 pm

donghyuck hates the police

 

injun | 20:26 pm

this is ridiculous

he could be anywhere

he could be far away from here

you guys are out of your fucking mind

 

nana is typing…

markos is typing…

pwark jay jay is typing…

lele is typing…

 

Sighing, he pockets the phone again and starts moving. 

 

It's around 21:10 when Jeno starts losing hope, catching his breath on the part of town they used to go bike around as kids because the streets were always emptier. He rubs the heels of his hands on his eyes, tries to think of all the other possible places Donghyuck could be because where can a seventeen years old boy go with no money and a backpack?

He sighs, pulls the hoodie of his suit over his head because it's starting to get cold and starts walking his way back to the city. And it's around 21:25 when he trips on the railway of a deactivated train station and hears a very familiar scoff.

Donghyuck tries, _tries_ not to look at him, but Jeno revels in the way his eyes follow the web coming out of his fingers all the way to the ceiling of the train station, how he stares in silence as Spiderling dangles in the space in front of him.

When Jeno speaks, he thanks Jungwoo mentally because the gadget works, the voice that comes out is nothing like his.

"Are you Lee Donghyuck?" Spiderling asks, because he doesn't know anything about Lee Donghyuck, has been contacted by one of his friends, a pink haired boy named Jaemin or something like that.

See, he is not Jeno right now, heart pumping so hard on his chest it hurts, worried shitless, scared shitless too. He's Spiderling, has his shit together, helps people when they need it and is going to bring this kid home. So when Donghyuck rolls his eyes and what the hell, he's alright and right here, it takes him all of his willpower not to tackle him to the floor either out of relief or anger. Because Spiderling is not Jeno.

"Don't you have something else to do, webface?" Donghyuck asks. He's sitting on the floor of the deactivated station, feet dangling by the edge, a couple books and a Nintendo switch scattered around him like he's been sitting here all day, with his school bag set aside. "Save the world, perhaps?"

He's also wearing one of Jaemin's jackets, his favorite. Jaemin is going to kill him.

"I am saving the world right now," Spiderling replies.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes again, he pulls one of his legs to his chest and holds it, head tilting as he takes in the sight of the superhero. Just for the sake of it, Spiderling mimics the movement, and then the boy scoffs. "I'm not that important."

"I think you're pretty important, Donghyuck?"

"Did my friends send you here? I don't need your help, I'm perfectly fine by my own."

When Spiderling takes a better look at it, he notices a camping sack and a blanket behind him. He points at it, "Are you planning on passing the night here? That's a no-no, dude."

"Why do you care?" Donghyuck sighs. "Go away, kids like you shouldn't be playing hero around this time, Spiderling. It's probably past your _curfew_."

His face glows strangely under the light from one of the few lamp posts nearby. In all of the years Jeno has known him, he's never seen Donghyuck look more like a kid. Not because this is the apogee of his tantrums, the one thing none of them will ever forget because they've never been so close to losing Donghyuck for whatever reason, but because Jeno has seen the look in his eyes more often than he wanted to, he's been seeing it in the mirror for years.

Spiderling sighs. He should've came as Jeno, they needed to have this conversation as friends, but something tells him that Donghyuck would probably run away from him if he was Jeno and not some stupid superhero. So he maneuvers himself to the platform and sits beside Donghyuck, keeping a safe distance from the boy because who knows how he's going to react. But, to his surprise, Donghyuck doesn't even bat an eye, just watches him with a bored expression.

"Why are you here, Donghyuck?" he asks, and hopes the boy sees the sincerity of his question, because he doesn't know Spiderling knows that but Donghyuck _seeks_ the best in people, knows how to tell when they're being genuine or not.

Apparently, all these years as Spiderling has granted him a little trust even from somebody who claims to hate him, or maybe Donghyuck is just lonely, or maybe both, because the boy sighs and says. "Do you ever want to run away, Spiderling?"

This is it. This is the hook he needed, because he looks at the distance, to the part of the city where their friends are, where their lives are. "All the time, to be honest," he says. "But I have a lot of things I don't wanna leave behind, you know?"

At that, Donghyuck lets out a little surprised sound. He squints his eyes at him and for a moment Spiderling thanks heavens that the lighting is so fucked, that he has his hoodie on, because Donghyuck looks at him with so much attention that he's almost afraid he's going to see Jeno.

But then that look is gone, he turns his gaze to the railway. "Then we're two," the boy says. "I don't-- I don't have the money to go anywhere. I thought about hitchhiking but I-- I know it's stupid. So that's why I'm here all alone."

Spiderling nods. He points at the books between them. "But you got good company, I see. I haven't thought about Lord of the Flies since middle school, though."

Donghyuck sends him a grin, this time, all teeth. He grabs the books and holds them close to his chest.

"Me too, but a friend of mine gave it to me so it's special. I have MJ's autobiography too, which is my favorite book. This is all I need."

Spiderling smiles at him, but then he remembers it's stupid because Donghyuck can't see it with the mask on, so he laughs instead. "Is it, though? What about your friend, the one that gave you the book, don't you need him?"

The boy scoffs. "I do need Mark many times but he doesn't need to know that."

"And your other friends?"

At that, Donghyuck's frowns. He puts the books down. "I need them too but I don't think they need me much, but I guess I did this to myself."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know," he sighs. "I'm always kind of an asshole and we fight all the time, and they upset me sometimes but I know I always upset them more."

Spiderling shakes his head. "I'm sure that is not true."

 _It isn't_ . Jeno knows it. Sure, they fight all the time and Donghyuck is a pain in the ass sometimes, but _all_ of them are. That's friendship. Jeno knows the boy standing in front of him, knows that he's always the one to apologize first – Jaemin says it's the guilt, Jeno thinks he has a soft heart –, to reach out when someone is sad with hugs and kisses. He knows Donghyuck isn't even half of what he makes himself to be.

But Spiderling doesn't, so he can't say all of that out loud. When Donghyuck snorts at his statement, all that's left for him is keep trying.

"Can I take you home?" he asks, quietly. "Or call someone, a friend, a relative?"

Donghyuck shakes his head. He has both of his knees bent now, holding his legs close to the chest, resting his chin there. He looks tiny, swimming in Jaemin's oversized jacket, and _Jeno_ wants to take him home. "I don't wanna go home yet,"

Spiderling nods. He looks up to the night sky and wonders how many messages are left unread in their group chat, if they've called the police yet.

"Can you message your friends, at least?" he suggests. "Tell someone that you're safe?"

Donghyuck ponders for a second, then nods. He fishes his phone out of his bag and turns it on, then starts typing. When he's done, there's this split second in which Jeno thinks that his own phone is going to beep, but of course it's in silent mode, tucked in the front pocket of his pants. That thought reminds him that there's life outside of Spiderling's reality, and he himself should be going home soon, but he couldn't ever leave without Donghyuck.

He doesn't realize he's staring until Donghyuck says "Lost something around here, webface?"

Shrugging to brush it off, he tears his gaze off Donghyuck and looks down at the railway under them. "You know, I know this city really well, so I can suggest you better places to hang out than a deactivated train station."

When Donghyuck's elbow comes up to nudge him in the ribs, Spiderling almost lets out a squeak. He didn't expect the other to touch him.

"Ah, you're _ridiculous_."

This time, they both laugh. The hero then points at the Nintendo switch resting by Donghyuck's side.

"What games do you got there, huh?"

 

Approximately 30 minutes after Donghyuck kicks his ass in a little competition of Super Smash Bros and sets buying him a Big Mac as a punishment, he lets Spiderling walk him to his door.

It's dark on the street, and everyone else already knows Donghyuck is alive and well ("Mark said they _almost_ called the police. I would have killed myself, no joke. I even like you better now, webface."), but Spiderling still looks around to see if anyone is watching. He's carrying Donghyuck's camping sack and blanket, carefully folded, in his arms.

"This is where I live," the other boy says, pointing at a house with a blue door and lights on. Of course that's where he lives, but Spiderling still lets out and _oh, nice door_ , which makes him chuckle. "My grandma is going to fucking kill me,"

"Well," says Spiderling, shrugging. "I can't blame her."

When Donghyuck punches him in the arm slightly, it feels like it always does but somehow different. He watches amusedly as the red haired searches for the keys in the pocket of his backpack, because of course he'd run away from home and take the keys just in case. That's such a Donghyuck thing to do.

It's the door finally unlocked that settles down the thought that this is it, this is where they part ways now – both physically and metaphorically. Donghyuck turns to him and he hands him the camping sack and the blanket. Then, the boy pops his lips loudly before starting to talk.

"Thanks for taking me home." he says. "And for feeding me. And for talking to me. I guess you're not that bad."

"Well, thank you for letting me," Spiderling replies. "Just promise me you're going to hang out at better, maybe more frequented places next time."

"Maybe," Donghyuck suggests, swaying back and forth on his heels a little. "You can show these better places to me. You know, since you're not that bad and you know this city soooooo well..."

Something inside Jeno's brain goes haywire, and he knows he should back the fuck off right _now_ because rule number 1 of being Spiderling is never ever being in contact with any of his friends, but there's a faint blush on Donghyuck's cheeks that wasn't there before and does he really have the heart to deny him that, after everything he told Spiderling today?

The answer is a short "no". Even Spiderling doesn't have the heart to tell Donghyuck "no".

"Sure thing." he replies.

When the other boy smiles he knows there's no going back now. Donghyuck opens the door and takes a step inside, looking over his shoulder to him. "I'll see you around then, webface."

Spiderling nods. Then, he's out of Donghyuck's porch in a heartbeat because he _is_ past his curfew, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to let me know what you thought and leave kudos if you haven't yet! 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)


	7. where the lines overlap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a list of things that happened while on the spideyjeno mini hiatus  
> \- i got into college (yay!)  
> \- i realized jeno is actually my baby :^/ shit  
> \- spiderman into the spiderverse came out and i cried and you should watch it if you haven't already  
> \- my gf beta read this chapter and nearly died. thx again tessie s2
> 
> i hope yall missed a certain spidey boy and his friends. i did. and i hope you enjoy this
> 
> (and happy birthday, lee jeno, or whatever :P)
> 
> super cool edit: i broke down the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/7kqXmLHQz6SK57WAe17XkN?si=2JAIX6ykQH6H4PGRPvnegw) in two!!!! now you have:
> 
> [hyuck's](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/24PuHHfzuTKhAK3RXWfSh3?si=hUxSl_x9S7CRToIyh_mJig) and [spiderling's](https://open.spotify.com/user/yourdietsoda/playlist/2iPPFpqSzxPfgaTqiaJ3Kp?si=h8oNvyIdSv-kiH3cXR1mtw) playlists. yay

The thing about Donghyuck's failed attempt to run away is that they don't talk about it. Ever.

It hangs in the air, heavy and obvious, a collection of thoughts and questions and scolds and cries, and Jeno has known his friends for long enough to sense the kind of thing that will never be said out loud. He doesn't need a Spider-sense for that.

He knows, for example, that when Mark's hand lingers three seconds longer than usual on Donghyuck's back when they're parting ways in the walk home, it's just the quiet fear he won't get to ever do it again manifesting. The problem is: even though Mark is way better with words than any of them, not even he has the courage to speak up. It is perhaps what unsettles Jeno the most, when he thinks of it, the fact that he knows something Mark Lee doesn't. 

But then again, it’s not exactly  _ Jeno  _ who knows about it. Donghyuck's worries and reasons are a secret for Spiderling to keep. Jeno has nothing to do with either of them in that case.

So that's why he adjusts his grip on Jaemin's shoulders and rests his head on the back of his neck – because Jeno's bike is broken, his dad accidentally ran over it with his car the day before since Jeno had left it on the floor of the garage and forgot about it – and hopes that they both won't topple over, because maybe he's too big to be up on Jaemin's bike like that. Since he'll have to walk, later, because Jaemin lives on the other side of the neighborhood, Jeno uses the last minutes of his ride to look at Donghyuck, skating lazily by their side.

To be quite honest, he can't picture living a world without Donghyuck. Life would be a whole lot boring without his snarky remarks, the way he insists he knows a skate trick he clearly doesn't, his incessant humming of whatever song he's been into lately. Jeno tunes out the sound of Jaemin's voice as he recalls what happened in his Literature class today, and follows the way Donghyuck brushes the hair off his face, lip always curled in a half-snarl, and when the latter notices him staring, he smiles at him. 

"Lost something around here, big head?" Donghyuck asks, scoffing, although he doesn't sustain the challenging stare for long.

"I'm just really glad that you're my friend," he replies, wholeheartedly.

Donghyuck falls from his skateboard in a heartbeat, and Jaemin starts laughing so hard that they all have to take a break from the ride home – but Jeno doesn't regret a single word of it. 

 

See, when Jeno was about eight to nine years old, he had a sleepover at his house. It was the first of many to come, hence their usual tradition of gathering together at Jeno's because his house, despite not being so big, is way better than everybody else's – because Renjun has his little siblings, there are too many breakable fancy stuff on Chenle's house, Jaemin's apartment is too tiny to fit all of them, and Mark's mother is a little too obsessed with cleaning to let them gather there. That leaves Jisung, Donghyuck and him, but Jisung never suggested anything and Donghyuck hardly ever does. Sleepovers are at Jeno's.

So, yeah, he remembers that one time like this: camping sacks, inflatable mattresses and cushions on the floor of his room, bowls and more bowls of snacks here and there, too many backpacks thrown together at a corner and pillows all around. Jaemin had just put braces and he couldn't eat anything too hard, so he stuck with Jeno's dad's noodle soup while the rest of them had fried chicken and rice. And he remembers how Chenle and Jisung gushed at his collection of comics, how Mark slept on the mattress closest to his bed so they spent the night talking in whispers after everyone had fallen asleep. 

Safe to say it was also around the time Donghyuck had developed this crazy, gut-wrenching fear of the dark. No one knew about it – not even Mark, who was his best friend – and no one asked about it – not even Renjun, who liked secrets. Jeno remembers it like this: Donghyuck getting up from his camping sack, holding his pillow miserably, and sliding under the covers of Jeno's bed with him, cold feet pressing to his calves, wishing him a good night. And Jeno also remembers it like this: Donghyuck being back to his camping sack before the others woke, pretending he never left there in the first place.

Jeno is not a snitch, so he didn't say anything about it. He knows, though, that Donghyuck got over it through the years, and even  _ he _ forgot about it with time. That is, until Donghyuck curls his slender fingers around his wrist, pulls and whispers: "You remember that time I was afraid of the dark?"

He has no idea why Donghyuck would talk about this  _ now _ , in the middle of the movie that their English teacher put on, but Jeno figures he must be trying not to fall asleep, so he turns his head slightly and replies: 

"Yeah, why?"

Donghyuck's face, mere centimeters from his, is illuminated for a split second by the light coming from the TV, and Jeno can see the way his cheeks flush red before he quickly puts some space between them. As they fall into the dark again, Jeno can feel his own cheeks heating up a little, but still raises his eyebrows at Donghyuck. "So?"

"The day I ran away," he starts, quietly, so that no one else can hear. Not that anybody would be interested in their talk since everyone is either napping or using their phones. "I was scared shitless of it again. I thought I was going to die,"

Jeno feels something funny on the pit of his stomach, and suddenly he realizes it's  _ worry _ . He didn't see the fear in Donghyuck's face that day, so he must be really good at hiding it. He ducks his head a little in Donghyuck's direction, to hear better.

"I didn't tell you guys this, but Spiderling found me," he whispers, and Jeno feels goosebumps all over. He tries to blame it on the AC and fails. Donghyuck continues: "And for a moment I wasn't scared. He's not as bad as I thought he was, so… Sorry for freaking out on you that one time."

Jeno doesn't know what to say, so he replies: "It was more than one time, though,"

Donghyuck sighs loudly, hand coming up to hit him on the back of his head. Jeno laughter shakes him up so bad that the teacher walks to their table to ask what his problem is, and when he leaves again, Jeno leans into Donghyuck's space and nudges him on the side. 

"Why'd you tell me this?" he asks.

Donghyuck's face lights up again with the colors of the TV, flashing red and blue so, so fast. He turns to Jeno slightly and shrugs. "I like talking to you. But you know that, right?"

Jeno smiles. "Yeah, I do."

"Great," he turns to the TV again. "So, the deal is: if you don't bottle shit up, I won't, too."

For good measure, he raises a hand and lifts up his pinky finger. Jeno doesn't reply, but interlocks his with Donghyuck's either way.

 

The second time Spiderling meets Donghyuck, it happens by accident.

Actually, if it’s Jeno thinking, he’s almost sure that Donghyuck was  _ looking _ for him. He's suddenly reminded of Donghyuck's words in that English lecture, how he said he was scared shitless of the dark again and thinks that looking for Spiderling means looking for trouble because there's no way he would've found Donghyuck if the latter wasn't wandering alone at  _ night _ , far from home once more. There's a tease or maybe a scold on the tip of his tongue, but then again, he's not Jeno right now. 

“Didn’t you promise me you were gonna hang out in better places?” Spiderling asks, and he can see the exact moment Donghyuck’s heart skips a beat, startled. 

“Webface!” he exclaims, turning around at the same time Spiderling jumps to the floor. He holds the skateboard up with a hand and bows. “I was meaning to ask, why did you cut your gloves like that?"

"I'm all about the punk aesthetic," Spiderling replies, ironically. "No, actually, my webs come out of my fingertips. Think Cindy Moon, of sorts."

"So you  _ are _ into comics," Donghyuck shakes his head. "I knew it, I figured that you're a Silk copycat rather than a Spiderman copycat like some people say."

Spiderling gasps, offended. "I'm not a copycat! Silk's my role model, she's Korean too!"

Throwing his head back in laughter, Donghyuck sighs. "You're a gem, webface, seriously."

"Alright, alright, mind if I ask, where were you, Donghyuck? It's too late for you to be alone in the street."

"At a friend's, don't worry."

_ Liar _ . They don’t know anyone at this part of town. Spiderling nods at it, though, and soon he’s standing in front of the boy. Donghyuck eyes him curiously, and it feels so funny, to be standing in front of a friend like that at the same time that they’re  _ not _ friends, he’s not Jeno right now, he’s someone else that Donghyuck doesn’t know. It makes him feel a little giddy, uneasy, and Spiderling rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet before asking: "Teach me how to skate while I take you home?"

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow, then smiles softly. "Does our friendly neighborhood, oh-so-perfect Spiderling not know how to skate? I am agog, I am aghast!"

He shakes his head, and Donghyuck pushes the skateboard against his chest. 

"Let's do this, then. And if you fall on your ass, shit will be all over Twitter before you even blink, and don't try to stop me."

"Wouldn't dream of it, trust me."

 

"Dude, I gotta be honest with you, because I think you're real fam, you know?"

Of all the things in the world he wanted to hear right now, Jeno thinks, whatever Yukhei needs to be honest about isn't one of them. He bangs his head against his locker and waits for it, because it  _ is _ coming. He overheard the team talking about it before the bell rang, perks of having his five senses enhanced. 

Sometimes knowledge  _ is _ a curse, Jeno thinks.

"It's just that," Yukhei shrugs, face scrunching up awkwardly. "You haven't shown up to practice in ages, and you're also failing, like, many classes, and I wanted to..."

He sighs. "Lucas, just get it over with, please."

"She was very pissed off when she told me this, but Jungeun told me to tell you that Ravi told her that you're out of the team...? I’m sorry, Jeno..." 

"It's fine."

Yukhei frowns. "Is it?"

Jeno leans away from the locker and nods. "It's fine, really."

 

It's definitely not fine.

"My dad is going to kill me!" Jeno whispers, leaning against Jaemin's side as they walk down the cafeteria. "Worst of it all, Jungeun is going to fucking beat my ass!"

"How is that worse than dying," Jaemin frowns. "Baby, you need to get your priorities straight."

"I am," Jeno sighs. "I've been thinking about this a lot recently, Nana..."

Which isn't exactly a lie. Ever since Donghyuck's attempt to run away, he just can't stop going out as Spiderling. Every day Jeno puts on the mask, he's afraid he won't be able to stop him this time. The worry grows on him, weighs him down, makes him miss practice at school because he's webbing his way around town like a madman, makes him not study for his exams because he can't sleep at night and dozes off during the afternoon. He just doesn't miss practice at the club because he actually  _ pays _ for the membership, he's never been one to just waste his father's money, alright. 

Thinking about it now, maybe the fact that his father is going to kill him when he finds out  _ is _ more preoccupying. What if he also doesn't want to adopt another cat in the future?  _ What if Donghyuck runs away when he's dead?  _ Jeno wonders if Jaemin will be able to assume Spiderling's legacy if that happens. You don't even need super powers when you're Na Jaemin.

"I can literally hear you thinking," Jaemin says, pushing him in the direction of the trays. "Jeno, being a-- being a  _ you _ is going to get you in trouble. You can't sleep, you're flunking classes and the year's barely begin, you need to stop--"

"I can't stop," he replies. "What if Donghyuck runs away--"

"If he does, we'll just go after him. You don't need to be--"

Jeno accidentally drops his tray, and the queue behind them start to boo. Jaemin bares his teeth at them instantly, and all the teenagers from their year back off because everybody knows Jaemin was a biter when they were kids. He's sure Eric still has a scar on his shoulder from when he tried to use Jaemin's crayons without asking first.

"I need to be… to be me, Jaemin," he says quietly, not even looking at what the lunch ladies are putting on his plate. He sighs, and Jaemin rubs his shoulder. "I told you, if I can't even protect my friends from whatever shit's going on, who am I? Just a bad hero!"

Jaemin purses his lips, quietly thanking the lunch ladies, and then turns to him. "You always take care of everyone, but who takes care of you?"

"Myself…?"

Jaemin shakes his head, pointing to their usual table on the other side of the cafeteria. Jeno looks up from his tray and watches them, how Chenle comments excitedly about whatever he's been obsessing over lately, and how Renjun and Donghyuck lean against each other as they go over the lyrics Mark's written recently – he now texts them for opinions –, and how Jisung throws pieces of french fries in their direction when they don't pay him attention. Jeno tries not to feel soft, but he does.

"We do," Jaemin tells him, pushing him in their direction. "We take care of you, Jeno. And don't you fucking doubt it for a minute."

 

But Jeno doesn't tell his dad. No, no, he comes home and smiles, and pretends everything is fine, because Jaemin can tell him that they'll take care of him, but they can't take care of Spiderling.

No one but him can. He scratches Bongshik behind her ears before he leaves, Spiderling's suit under his clothes.

 

"For a superhero, you actually suck doing basic things," Donghyuck tells him, and he can't see Spiderling rolling his eyes, so he just flips him off.

"Skating isn't easy, okay," he replies, feeling his knee burning from the scratch, how the asphalt cut through the denim and left him bleeding and suffering. "You've probably been doing this since forever."

Sitting beside him on the curb, Donghyuck smiles brightly, bending his knees to his chest and shaking his head. "That's where you're mistaken, my dear webface" he says. "I actually learned how to skate, like, two years ago. But I'm so good at it, you can't even tell, right?"

"You're a show-off," Spiderling replies, chuckling. "But you're an okay teacher. But I bet you have way more fun laughing at me than teaching me how to be a cool kid like you."

Donghyuck shakes his head. His hair's faded to orange, Spiderling's noticed, and the streetlights bring out a yellow tone to his skin. They're actually hanging out around somewhere familiar this time, near the old house Jaemin used to live in before his parents got that nice apartment uptown. That's what Donghyuck's told him.

"I'm not a cool kid, webface," he says. "I'm kind of a loser, actually."

"Bet you're not. 

He laughs. "I am! But it's alright, I like being a loser. You like it too, don't you, webface? 'Cause being a loser is the only basic thing you're pretty good at!"

Scoffing, Spiderling punches him on the shoulder lightly. "But what about your friends," he asks. "Are they losers too?"

Donghyuck shrugs. "Not all of them. Mark is not, because he's in college now and I kinda wanna be like him when I grow up, but that's a secret, and--," he chuckles to himself. "Renjun's also not a loser because he's fucking rad, Jaemin might be one because he's rich so yeah, and Chenle and Jisung are kinda like my babies but sometimes they piss me off… So honorary losers."

Spiderling's stomach flips upside down, and he's glad Donghyuck's can't see his face when he tells him: "But this other friend of mine, his name is Jeno. I tell him all the time that he's the biggest loser of 'em all, but he really isn't. He's actually really fucking cool. But I ain't ever telling him that."

He's going to regret asking. It feels like cheating, but he's left Jeno's moral compass back home with his ID. "Why?" 

Donghyuck loses his hold on the skate, and it goes rolling down the street. Spiderling raises a hand and fishes it with his web, and something in his chest grows warm when Donghyuck's chin drops, fingers coming up to touch the web. Bet he's never seen it up close. But the wonder lasts a few seconds, he flicks the remainings of the sticky web on his fingers and says:

"Because Jeno wouldn't get, like, cocky if I told him that. He'd be awkward about it, probably think it was a joke, and then he'd just be really happy that I said that. And that's why he's not a loser, you know? So I prefer him thinking he's one, 'cause it's funnier."

He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he just says: "You truly love them all, don't you?"

Donghyuck smiles. "Yeah, I do. With all my heart, more than I loved anything in my life."

"I bet they love you too. So you can count on them, you know."

"Yeah, right," Donghyuck shakes his head. "I guess I can."

They stay in silence for a really long time, and maybe they should get going. But being in silence with Donghyuck is more comfortable than he'd ever imagine, and he just sits there watching as he absentmindedly plays with the shoelaces of his Converses. At some point, Donghyuck turns to him again. "You know," he says, quietly. "I hang out with you because you're a loser like me. And I guess I kind of trust you, webface."

"I feel very flattered," he replies, and it's true. "Now is this the part where you ask me to be my sidekick? 'Cause I'm not sure you can keep up with the spidey magic, you know, but I can teach you some things."

Against all odds, Donghyuck's laughter echoes in the street, loud and twice as much familiar. 

 

handsome nana | 1:39 | seen

first of all why aren't you sleeping

 

handsome nana | 1:40 | seen

second of all you won't BELIEVE what hyuck just told me

 

lee jeno | 1:41 | seen

i have insomnia

what did he say??????

 

handsome nana | 1:41| seen

ur no fun

he said: everything

 

lee jeno | 1:42 | seen

what's everything?

i'm TIRED of you guys not telling me your jokes

>:( 

 

handsome nana | 1:43 | seen

HAHA baby i love you

 

handsome nana | 1:44 | seen

i mean, he told me shit

like he actually Opened Up for once in his life

AND THE SHOCKING PART IS

 

lee jeno | 1:44 | seen

keep talking i gotta pee

 

handsome nana | 1:45 | seen

ok

THE SHOCKING PART IS

he told me spiderling found him the night he ran away ;)

 

handsome nana | 1:46 | seen

& he was all "oh he was actually nice" like BITCH

never even met you… in costume before

and he talks all ironic i laughed so hard??

 

lee jeno | 1:49 | seen

costume?

IT'S A SUIT!

I MADE IT MYSELF 

 

handsome nana | 1:50 | seen

he's so cute i love him i'm so glad he's here :(

baby it's just a long sleeved tee and the shirt you cropped and painted

just because you look mildly hot in it…. doesn't mean a thing

 

lee jeno | 1:51 | seen

nvm

so he talked about me

 

handsome nana | 1:52 | seen

yes he did and he kinda likes u

like as spiderling and as a friend

totally not as jeno like uh romantically 

haha imagine that 

 

lee jeno | 1:53 | seen

what are u on about

i ain't gonna fall for that again

 

handsome nana | 1:54 | seen

WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

 

lee jeno | 1:54 | seen

you told me mark had a crush on me on freshmen year

NO ONE had a crush on me

i had a BOWLCUT

 

handsome nana | 1:55 | seen

mark is blind? we've been through this

we were ALL ugly in freshmen year so it's only natural

 

lee jeno | 1:56 | seen

he didn't have a crush on me he would’ve told me

 

handsome nana | 1:57 | seen

yeah as if he'd ever admit it to your face

mr oblivious

 

lee jeno | 1:58 | seen

ok but

hum

idek what we were talking abt

 

handsome nana | 1:59 | seen

NOTHING

HYUCK IS TEAM SPIDERLING

U DID A GREAT JOB BABY GOOD NIGHT! 

 

lee jeno | 2:00 | unread

gnight…?

:P

 

It's been a few weeks since the last time Jeno hung out with Donghyuck while being his spidey self, because he's trying to lay low ever since his father grounded him for being an idiot – as in, flunking many classes and lying about it until last minute when the principal called him and Jeno's never, ever seen his father get mad at anything in his entire life. So, yeah, he's grounded, and now all he does is catch up on his homework and pretend like his heart doesn't threaten to jump out of his chest every time someone sends him a text, thinking that it'll be Mark telling him Donghyuck's gone for good.

Jeno doesn't know why he's so worried. Maybe it's because he was the one to bring him back – well, not him, but Spiderling –, or because he actually enjoys hanging out with Donghyuck without being Jeno. Of course, he teases him the same, but it's different somehow! And every time they meet, even if it's just to skate or walk around town in the dark, it makes Jeno think that he regrets not hanging out a lot with Donghyuck normally, and that he definitely doesn't want him to go away. 

"You two are very good friends, aren't you?" his dad says over dinner that Jeno made, mind you. He's mastered the art of his grandmother's sundubu jiggae, even if it took him a few hours with her on Skype to get it right. "I got really worried that day he ran off."

"Me too, dad," he replies. He didn't mean to have this conversation, but Donghyuck's all Jeno's been thinking about recently, and he couldn't help but mention it to his dad without noticing. Of course, he didn't mention the Spiderling part. For all Lee Sieon knows, they've been hanging out as two childhood friends, nothing strange about that.

Jeno wonders if he's going to hell when he dies, for lying to his father. He bites down on his meat and shrugs. "Hyuck's really special. I don't know what I-- what we would do without him. He's, like, our brain."

His father frowns. "You always said Mark was the brain."

Jeno frowns back to him. "Yeah, alright, if my boys and I were a body, I think Hyuck would be the heart."

Smiling softly, his father asks: "Why?"

Jeno's words feel a lot heavy on his tongue, but he says it either way: "Because I try to picture us without him but I can't," he replies. "And I wish he knew that. Maybe he wouldn't run away if he knew that."

"So I think you know what you have to do."

He smiles. "Yeah, dad, I think I do."

 

"You're such a fucking asshole, Jeno," Donghyuck hisses, baring teeth at him. "I can't flunk History because of you! I'm literally going to kill you."

That's new. Jeno's back hits the lockers with so much force that he can't help but wince, and Donghyuck's gaze is unforgiving. He's never seen him so pissed, at least now with him. "You were supposed to be at mine yesterday! The essay is due tomorrow, and there's so much shit to do and I have a guitar lesson today!" he continues. "But,  _ no _ , you forgot--"

"I'm grounded?" Jeno tries. "My dad wouldn't let me go out--"

"For a school thing? I hardly doubt that!"

The bell rings, and when Donghyuck tries to leave, Jeno reaches out to hold his arm. Alright, alright, maybe he forgot that they were supposed to do a project together, and that he's on the verge of flunking all of his classes for the first – and hopefully last – time of his life, but Jeno had things to do! He helped many elderly people carry their groceries, stopped a bank from being robbed, and helped kids cross the street! He's your friendly neighborhood Spiderling, he has duties as a hero, if he sneaks out of his house without his dad knowing, it's for the greater good! And--

And Donghyuck doesn't know that, couldn't possibly know that. So Jeno grabs his arm gently, putting his best puppy face on, and says: "I'm sorry, Donghyuckie, let me make it up to you. I'll do the project on my own and you don't have to worry about that."

Donghyuck's face tints a ruby red, shades darker than his now faded hair, and he blinks at him like Jeno's suddenly grown two heads. Then, squirms his way out of his hold and replies:

"My house, 18:00, don't be late. You're not doing this on your own because your writing sucks, and if you don't show up, I'll beat your ass like no one else ever did, Lee Jeno."

He sighs in relief. "You'd beat my ass no matter what, though,"

Donghyuck punches him hard on the shoulder, the blush spreading to his ears.

"I'll be there, Donghyuckie!" Jeno tries, but he's already walking away. 

 

The first thing Donghyuck does when Jeno sits on his desk so they can work on the History essay is card his fingers through his hair, which isn’t rare or weird – Donghyuck does it all the time with all of them –, but he thought he was pissed, so Jeno waits for the second Donghyuck decides he'll snap his neck to accept his fate. 

“You look like shit,” is what Donghyuck tells him instead because of course, he notices, and Jeno presses his cheek to the top of the desk in a sigh. ”Is it because I yelled at you? Because you kind of deserved it, but if you're sad, I'm sorry.”

“Nah, I’m just really tired.”

It’s not a lie. Jeno is tired all the time recently, but school might have gotten the best of him today. He recalls sleeping through the entirety of his pop up math quiz after Donghyuck confronted him on the lockers, being dragged from class to class by a worried Jaemin and spending lunch with his head on Renjun’s thigh, trying to sleep beside the cacophony in the cafeteria. And then he went out during the afternoon because he saw some trouble in the street after class, and now he's just so incredibly tired.

“You can sleep a little if you want, we can start the essay later,” Donghyuck tells him, stopping the ministrations in his hair. 

Jeno is horrified with his sudden urge to whine. He suppresses it by replying: “Can I really? It's so late already, we won't have time to finish the essay."

Donghyuck points to the unmade bed by the window. “Suddenly you forgot our ability to bullshit our way through things, also you wouldn't be of any help if you keep falling asleep on me. Go on, big head, I’ll be here when you wake up!”

Despite all of his father’s attempts to educate him into a polite young man, –which include not being a nuisance in other people’s houses –, Jeno doesn’t need to be told twice. He sneaks under the covers of Donghyuck’s bed the way he used to do when they were kids, and sighs contently when the latter shuts the windows closed, drenching the room in darkness. 

“Give me, like, thirty minutes,” Jeno says, face pressed to the pillow, and dozes off immediately before he can even hear Donghyuck’s reply.

It turns out that Donghyuck doesn’t wake him up in thirty minutes. He lets Jeno sleep for two hours, and when he wakes up, Donghyuck's room is dark and cozy and Jeno wants to get back to sleep. He lets his eyes close for a couple minutes, enjoying the warmth and the smell of Donghyuck's pillow, but then realizes that he shouldn't be asleep anymore, or pressing his face against Donghyuck's pillow. 

Weird, Jeno, weird! He gets up. 

Donghyuck, though, is nowhere to be seen. Jeno flicks the lights on after getting up and presses a key on the other boy's computer, and the screen lights up with Google Drive open, with the essay halfway done, despite all odds. Jeno sighs. He can't believe he slept while Donghyuck did all the work, or that Donghyuck actually did it.

Jeno rushes down the stairs in search of him, rubbing the sleep off his eyes with the heels of his palms, and casually peeks into the kitchen only to find Donghyuck cooking up something in the oven. 

“Hey,” he says, quietly not to startle him. It doesn't work, though, because Donghyuck turns to him with a hiss, hand coming up to his chest.

“Sweet baby Jesus, you scared me,” he replies. “Hungry?”

"Why didn't you wake me up?”

Donghyuck shrugs, motions for one of the stalls next to the isle and turns back to the oven. “You looked cute while sleeping, I couldn't help it. Also, Mark sent me the very same essay he did last year, so..."

Jeno sighs. "Sorry I'm useless. I'm not doing anything lately, I'll finish the essay on my own, I swear."

"You're not useless," Donghyuck replies, in a worried tone. "I know I freaked out on you at school, but you're clearly going through shit and I didn't even ask, so it's alright. My bad."

Suddenly reminded of the conversation they had in class so many weeks before, Jeno breathes in deeply. Not bottling things up, right, but what can he do if he can't tell Donghyuck that he's failing classes because he's actually  _ going after him while being Spiderling to make sure that he doesn't run away…?  _ "Is that ramyun?" he asks instead. "You make the best ramyun."

"Shut up," Donghyuck replies, but the tips of his ears become pink. "Go get us some bowls before I change my mind."

"On it!"

 

hyuckles | 22:37 | seen

u don’t actually suck at writing

 

hyuckles | 22:38 | seen

u don’t suck at anything

 

lee jeno | 22:40 | seen

thanks?

 

hyuckles | 22:41 | seen

np

 

hyuckles | 22:42 | seen

do u wanna go get ice cream some other day

?

 

hyuckles | 22:47 | seen

uh u know what

forget about it

 

lee jeno | 22:49 | seen

WAIT sorry i was brusjing my teeth

brushing*

 

lee jeno | 22:50 | seen

i rlly want to, hyuck

seriously

 

hyuckles | 22:51 | seen

oh

nice :~)

 

“Do you think this is a date,” Jeno asks, shoving his phone on Mark’s face and promptly making him lose a match of the game they’re playing.

Well,  _ Mark _ is playing. Jeno’s screen has been frozen for fifteen minutes already, pretty much like the Coca-Cola they forgot on the freezer, because he’s been busy overthinking things. He shouldn’t even be here in the first place, but Mark helped him out with his Math homework and they decided to play for some time after that. What his father doesn’t see, his father doesn’t know! And even though Mark isn’t a Spiderman of sorts as well – at least as far as Jeno knows –, he can clearly sense Jeno’s inner struggle because he’s the one and only Mark Lee, so he drops the console on his lap and sighs, taking the phone from his hands. 

“Knowing Hyuck and knowing you,” he replies, finally. “That’s very likely to be a date.”

“What do you mean very likely. Have  _ you _ ever been on a date with Donghyuck?”

"Of course not, ew,” Mark scoffs, throwing the phone on Jeno’s lap. “But I know him the best. And if he didn’t insult you, yeah, he's probably asking you out for real.” 

Jeno’s eyes widen. He's never been on a date! Sure, one time Heejin asked him out to go to the movies and he got really excited because she's always been the cutest girl in class – he even got a haircut for the date! –, but when he arrived there, she told him she'd be hanging out with Hyunjin instead and he could do whatever until their parents showed up to get them, so he spent the night watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier and crying about Steve and Bucky while she had her first kiss or whatever. It wasn't a total loss, he also saved a lot of  _ stucky _ fanart on Tumblr later and gushed about it to Renjun. #bondingtimewiththebestie or whatever.

"Mark," he groans. "I've never been on a date."

"You'll do just fine, really," Mark shrugs. "Just be yourself. That'd be enough."

Jeno fights back a scream. He reaches out and starts another match.

 

“Hey,” Jeno whispers first thing on the weekend, leaning over his father’s desk. There are so, so many stacks of papers and books and binders that he can barely see the figure of his father lying down on the table, cheek pressed to one of the lab reports due next week. “Dad?”

“I’m not sleeping,” he replies, very much on the verge of falling asleep. Jeno sighs and puts down the mug of coffee he’s just prepared – no sugar, no cream –, and cards his fingers through his father’s hair. He yawns: “Good morning, pumpkin. Why are you up so early on a Saturday?”

He shrugs, and his father detaches himself from the lab report, straightening his back. “I have school things to do,” Jeno replies. “And I’ve been meaning to ask if I…”

“You’re still grounded,” he says, although he doesn't look very convinced by his own words. Jeno’s never been grounded in his entire life, so neither of them really know how it works.

“I know, but can I please go out with Donghyuck tomorrow? It’s really important.” 

His father frowns, “But you’re grounded? Isn't that how it works? Not leaving the house?”, and Jeno lets himself fall to one of the chairs in the home office. It creaks under him and he’s reminded that it’s broken, so Jeno quickly gets himself up on his feet again. 

“I know, dad, I know,” he says. “But he feels very lonely sometimes and he wants to go out with me, and this is the perfect opportunity for me to show him that I cherish him as a friend! Mind if I say, exactly like  _ you _ told me to do.”

Sighing, his father takes a sip of his coffee. “Why did you quit debate club?”

“I didn’t, Renjun kicked me out because I cared too much about the other person’s feelings and, in his opinion, that would someday be my downfall. Which is bull because being kind will always be better!"

“And that’s my son,” his father laughs. “Alright, you can go. But, after that, you’re grounded.”

Jeno smiles. “Deal!”

 

So tomorrow finally comes, and Jeno texts Donghyuck to see if he wants to grab an ice cream later, and is met with a keyboard smash and a  _ *yes duh of course jenojam why did you even ask honestly does your brain even work i wonder!! _ , which is, you know, your casual Donghyuck, so all is good!

Except that Jeno feels the drops of sweat on his hands, and the hairs on the back of his neck are particularly impossible today, he didn't know it was possible to be so nervous about meeting a friend. When he called Jaemin that morning and asked, he screamed so loud that Jeno's ears started ringing, promptly hung up on him, and ignored all his calls after. 

Jeno was very offended by that. Isn't this what best friends are for? Helping out? Renjun wouldn't even answer him, either, which is absurd. He dries his hands on his jeans and walks to the ice cream parlor listening to the playlist Mark created for him last year, trying to feel cool about himself.

They all found out about this particular ice cream parlor on Jisung's fourteenth birthday, when Mark was searching for nice places to hang out, and it soon became another name on Jeno's list of favorite places ever – because they have bubblegum flavored ice cream there! –, so he was really happy when Donghyuck mentioned it. 

He finds the latter sitting in a secluded booth inside, flipping through a comic book he's been reading recently. Jeno slides into the empty seat across the table, and exclaims "You dyed your hair!" at the same time that Donghyuck says "You buttoned your shirt wrong, freaking dumbass."

"Oh," they both exclaim, and Donghyuck throws his head back in laughter. 

Jeno starts fixing the buttons of his button up in shame, hoping that the employees at the ice cream parlor won't think he's trying to be naked in public. He has better reasons to be arrested, and he's also sure he's never seen Donghyuck with dark hair since he found out about hair dye, somewhere in middle school. But now here he is, running fingers through his freshly dyed brown locks out of habit, and smiles shyly at him. 

"Does it look too bad?"

"It doesn't look bad at all," Jeno replies instantly because it's true. "I think it looks really nice on you."

Donghyuck purses his lips, looking away, and then clears his throat. "Thanks, so, huh, what flavor do you want? My treat."

"No? Don't worry, I brought money--"

"Jeno," he groans. "I asked you out, so I pay. Please, let me."

He does. Donghyuck comes back with a cone of bubblegum ice cream for him and triple chocolate for himself, and they eat and look at each other in complete silence until Donghyuck sighs and says: "This is awkward, why are you being awkward,"

"I am not!" Jeno replies, caught by surprise. "Sorry, I've never been on a date – no, Heejin doesn't count because she's also gay –, so I don't know what I'm supposed to do? I--"

Donghyuck's chin drops. "Is this a date?"

He's never said this before, but Jeno is going to  _ kill _ Mark the next time he sees him. "Uh, is it… ?"

"Well, I don't know! Do you want it to be?"

"Do  _ you _ ?"

"I asked first!" Donghyuck groans, and he reaches for a bunch of napkins on Jeno's side of the table as he notices the ice cream is all melting. Jeno tries to hand them to him, but when their fingers bump, Donghyuck retreats like he's just touched fire. "You're ruining our date, Lee Jeno, by being a dumbass."

He grins. "So it is a date."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, and hands his cone to him so he can clean his hands. Jeno waits patiently, and when he's done, Donghyuck takes the ice cream back and stares at him. The tips of his ears are red, and suddenly Jeno's throat feels dry. They're at awkward stage once again.

"I'm sorry that I'm weird," he says, truthfully.

"You're not weird, Jeno," Donghyuck replies softly, making a face. "You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time. There's nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

_ Great, _ Jeno thinks,  _ now he's pitying me, maybe I should learn how to shut up once in my life.  _ He purses his lips, looking away from Donghyuck's gaze. He can't help it, being weird, he's been weird since he was bitten by a radioactive spider and now he can literally climb up walls, shoot spider-webs through his fingers, spit out venom on most days and--

And Donghyuck doesn't know that. Jeno clears his throat: "I'm--"

"Don't say you're sorry, big head," he says, but he's smiling. "Let's just talk about anything else, alright? So, is your father still upset about the volleyball team issue?"

He shrugs and goes back to eating his ice cream. "Not really. I'm still on the club's team, he just got upset that I might be wasting my high school experience being a dumb teenager."

"He didn't say that, Donghyuck laughs. "Your father would never call you a dumb teenager, even if you are one."

"Alright, he didn't, he said something along the lines of it, but in a more gentle way." Jeno shakes his head. "Dads, am I right."

Donghyuck shrugs. "I guess. I had dinner with my parents on Friday before they left for wherever they are right now, and I don't think they even acknowledged I was there."

Jeno pouts, and Donghyuck throws a used napkin at him. He dodges it, but still thinks about it. Donghyuck's parents haven't been around since they were kids, because they both are workaholics and are always traveling because of business. Jeno's not even sure he knows what his parents look like, if Donghyuck has his mother's eyes, or if her smile, and it suddenly hits him – he can't remember what his own mother looks either. 

Suddenly his ice cream tastes bitter, and Jeno must do something about it before both of them end up sulking over parents who just don't care.

"I have a surprise for you," he says, as Donghyuck bites the last of his waffle cone. He raises his eyebrows at Jeno, who smiles: "While on house arrest--" Donghyuck giggles. "I learned how to skate!"

His chin drops. "You're a disaster skating, what do you mean?"

Shrugging, Jeno shakes his head. "Well, I learned a thing or two. And I know you have a spare board at home, so… What do you say we go to the park?"

"I actually think that's a great idea, big head."

"Well, me too, personally..."

"Let's not push it, Jeno," Donghyuck groans, but he smiles afterward. And his smile is blinding.

 

lee jeno | 18:49 | seen

hyuck i'm so sorry

i'm really so sorry

i'll make it up to you

 

lee jeno | 18:50 | seen

i didn't meant to run away

it's just

 

lee jeno | 18:51 | seen

it's complicated

really complicated and i can't explain

 

lee jeno | 18:55 | seen

i know ur online don't ignore me

 

lee jeno | 18:58 | seen

i have 2 go

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

 

lee jeno | 18:59 | seen

:-( 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, yeah, this is it! don't forget to let me know what you thought! 
> 
> (also i can't believe we're halfway through this?? oh my. thank you so much for being here!!!)
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/morktwt)   
>  [ccat](https://curiouscat.me/nctqueer)
> 
> 190422


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